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There are plenty of different ways I like to compare myself to my friends. Who is making more money in their dream postgrad jobs, of course. Who has had a wedding that used up all of their parents’ retirement fund? Who is Instagram famous enough to promote detox teas? No matter how you look at it, most of the time it turns out that all of your friends are doing better than you are, and your life sort of sucks.
But my newest favorite way to compare myself and wallow in a vat of Pinot Grigio and despair is with my friends who are buying houses. For some reason, it still utterly baffles me when people my age buy a home. Not only because I love the amenities of apartments (swimming pool, the gym I’ve never actually used, and the occasional free sandwich? Yes, please.) but because being at the level, both financially and responsibility, to buy a fucking house just seems so, well, adult.
Still, it feels like every time I go on social media I’m flooded friend after friend holding up a set of keys and pronouncing that they’re officially ~homeowners.~ The weirdest thing is, a lot of these friends aren’t making more money than I am. I know this because I rudely ask all of my friends whenever I see them and I’m three beers in. And a good chunk of them aren’t even married. Or close to being married. Hell, most of them will probably *never* get married. So, why are they legally purchasing a two bedroom bungalow with their boyfriends/girlfriends of like, 7 months?
According to USA Today, millennials aren’t buying homes because we got married (or plan to get married) or because we want to pop out babies and have space for them to grow and fight over bedrooms. No, the reason we’re all buying houses we can’t afford is literally because of our dogs.
From USA Today:
According to a recent survey by SunTrust Mortgage, 33% of Millennials were influenced more by dogsthan marriage or children when purchasing their first home. The desire for more space and opportunity to build equity were the only two factors that topped having room for a dog.
Among Millennials who have never purchased a home, 42% said their dog, or desire to have one, would influence their future home-buying decisions. The survey said this suggests dogs might also influence purchase decisions of potential first-time homebuyers.
At first, I want to say this is totally dumb. Idiotic, even. I mean, you can absolutely have a dog and live in an apartment. Lots of us have done it for years. You just have to not be lazy and make sure your pup gets plenty of exercise. But then again, as I’ve been glancing at the Austin animal shelter website for the last few weeks waiting for a fresh batch of yellow lab puppies to hit the scene, I can’t deny the fact that having a home with a backyard would be sort of ideal. Plenty of space for them to do cute dog things together. Me, sitting on the back porch, drinking some straight vodka in the middle of the afternoon and spraying them with a hose? If that doesn’t sound like heaven for a 25-year-old, I don’t know what does.
Because what I guess this all comes down to is that millennials have finally found the secret to happiness. It’s not settling for your lame college girlfriend or having a few offspring that inevitably don’t love you as much as their other parent. It’s buying a house, getting a shitton of Golden Retrievers, and paying a maid service to sweep up all the hair every few hours. Who needs a family when you can have dogs and a dilapidated dwelling in your name?.
[via USA Today]
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Rachel Varina
if it doesn't have snack or seats, i'm not there. hate mail/Sunny references can be sent to itsrachelvarina@gmail.com
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Not me, I’m too hooked on avocado toast to be able to afford a house
Wait I thought millennials aren’t buying homes because we spend too much money on bachelor/bachelorette parties?
So which is it, baby boomers? Make up your goddamn minds.
No, it’s definitely all the avocado toast we’re spending our money on that prevents us from being homeowners.
“Happy ‘wife’, happy life!”…(gunshot)….life insurance check…actual happiness
I would do this. Nina needs her space. Also so I can have backyard chickens with their own Instagram account.
I would download Instagram for the chickens.
Usually I roll my eyes at the articles with “millennials” in the title because they’re written by baby boomers that are way off-base, but this one seems pretty accurate to me. I’ve been debating about extending my apartment’s lease or looking into houses just so that my dog would have more room to run around. Then I remembered that I have no money because of student loans, so another year of apartment life it is!
this got uploaded just as my boyfriend and were looking at flooring for the house we just bought…because it has more space for our dog
this makes me glad that i don’t have a pet (i’m too lazy) and also that i own a condo (so i don’t have to do any yard work).
I know I don’t want to stay in this city forever yet I’ve still considered buying a house purely for my dog to have a backyard.
I mean, my apartment would charge me an extra hundred or so a month to have a dog, and zero money if I had a kid, despite how much messier a baby would be. Makes some degree of sense in cities where it’s harder to be a renter and a dog owner.
Yea this will be me pretty soon. No SO to worry about so main criteria will be yard and woodshop area.