======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
How can this phrase have possibly lingered in our collective rhetoric for so long? For years now, the phrase “420 friendly” has littered our chat boxes, dating apps, Craigslist posts, and even our conversations. I’ve had enough.
Let me be very honest here. If you, a potential suitor, ask me if I’m “420 friendly,” there is no shot in hell that I will be, even in the distant future, sleeping with you.
I will immediately swipe left, delete your number, walk away, or ignore you in whatever other format we’re going through the courting process.
In fact, if the phrase “420 friendly” is anywhere near your bio OR mouth, whether or not you’re inquiring if I am also 420F or just announcing it to the general expanse, you’re done.
I don’t care if you’re the hemp king sent directly from the fields of Northern California, an heir to some ganja throne, if you ask me if I’m “420 friendly” I will have a worse taste in my mouth than if I was to take a hit of that sad little blunt anyways.
I can’t possibly imagine what possesses people to include in their dating app bio that they’re “420 friendly *sunglasses smile emoji* *cigarette emoji* *flower emoji*” other than the fact that they’re so high they actually think announcing to the entire world that they like to get stoned, lay around, and eat food is a particularly impressive or special quality.
For heaven’s sake, it’s 2017, isn’t everyone our age 420F?
From medicinal marijuana chocolate bars to the shit you can vape, I know less than five people under the age of 40 that are vehemently opposed to the stuff.
Regardless of whether or not you partake, is there really anyone out there that’s like, “Oh…you smoke pot? That’s horrific!” No. No, there’s not. I think we can all assume the entire goddamn population is “420 friendly.” Even if you’re a politician who “doesn’t approve of recreational marijuana,” I’m sure you’ve got a couple million invested in whatever Big Weed company is going to take over and unseat the little guys. It’s safe to say we’re all on board in one capacity or another.
Now, if you were say, “Crystal Meth friendly,” then that’d be a different thing. If the fact that I don’t do crystal meth is a non-negotiable for you, then, by all means, paint “Must Be Crystal Meth Friendly” across every dating app you’ve got. Otherwise, I’ll let you in on a little secret, everyone is 420 friendly and you look like a stoner middle school kid by bringing it up.
Furthermore, we need to stop saying “420” altogether. No one that actually uses marijuana in a responsibly chill way is associating themselves with “420,” whether it be the phrase or the day. Do you really want to be the guy stoked for April 20th? You already get high every other day of the year! What is so wonderful about 420? You get to get extra high?
I’m so sorry to have to break this to you but 420 is not a real holiday. No one says “happy 420” unless it’s your other misguided stoner friend. I don’t send my grandmother a card on 420 or buy my uncle a tie. So please, do not be the guy clogging up my Instagram feed with boomerangs of you taking a bong rip. If I didn’t already think you were an idiot in high school, I certainly think it now.
Finally, if you are so obsessed with being “420 friendly” that you must ask immediately upon meeting me, “Do you get high?” then I can only assume one, very sad thing. You would prefer staying in and lighting up over going out to drink with me. And that, right there, is my non-negotiable.
Toke on tokers, just do me a favor and leave it out of your bio. We get it, you smoke. .
Respond
CallMeVictoria
Life is messy, let's get dirty. itwasvictoria@gmail.com
@callmevictoria
@itwasvictoria
My 401K matching goes from 50% to 75% on 4/20 this year, so yeah, I’m celebrating as if it were a real holiday. Not with weed but probably a beer and a solid nap.
Sounds like your company’s 401k plan is TRAAAAASH
How? They retroactively match based on your tenure at the company. I’ll have been there 3 years on 4/20, which is the only thing keeping me from quitting and becoming a street bum. Well that and rent.
Just waiting for Nived to throw out opinions on some good weed stocks.
Canopy Growth Corp. (TWMJF)
Nived Acquisition and Development Corp. (NDEV)
Novus*
Freudian slip?
My cousins, who are in the late 30’s/early-40’s, are just now discovering that weed is pretty awesome. So they set up a “drug” party like they are 14 years old. We all come over, indulge, and then play video games, do puzzles, look at posters, etc. I went to it and it just made me laugh at how out of touch some people can be. To me, and anyone who smokes on even a somewhat regular basis, you don’t just get stoned out of your mind and giggle for hours. This isn’t Reefer Madness. You have a hit after work and just relax…similar to having a beer. Nothing major.
Selling equities is a lot more difficult on weed than it is on coke.
You are doing the Lord’s work with this article, Victoria.
Duda is one of those 5 people that is vehemently opposed to pot smoking
I will always laugh at 420 and 69 jokes no matter how old I am
Sounds like someone matched with a toker.
i am not “420 friendly” but in order to maintain my top secret clearance, and therefore keep my job, I can’t be.
well i guess the secrets out now, Sir! At least you can commiserate with all the other federal employees out there
Preach