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The big story this past weekend was obviously the royal wedding. For many it was like a fairy tale, where the former private school attendee-turned sorority girl-turned millionaire actress broke through socioeconomic barriers to meet and marry a prince. A tale as old as time. But I digress. It is a big deal for an American to marry into the British monarchy, even if you consider the C-list celebrity factor. In fact, there’s something almost suspicious about it. How do we know that Meghan Markle is not, in fact, a CIA plant with designs of taking over the monarchy and annexing Britain for the United States? As you read this, keep in mind it’s not the craziest thing you are going to read today because it’s 2018 and I’m just a fart in a hurricane at this point.
First of all, we know the reputation of the CIA. No organization, except perhaps the KGB, has been involved in regime change on such a broad scale. From small failures like Ukraine to large failures like Bay of Pigs, the CIA loves picking and choosing other countries’ rulers. In the interest of American national security or whatever. But I digress. It is not far fetched that the CIA would pursue influence in the British monarchy.
Now, let’s look at Meghan. According to my sources (Wikipedia) she was an international studies major who interned at the American embassy in Buenos Aires. She also studied in Madrid. Nothing suspicious about that, per se, although she was potentially exposed to US government assets working in those countries. This, paired with being very attractive, relatively famous, and being given access to heads of state for charitable ventures add quite a bit of value to anyone looking for a covert asset. It’s the person you least expect every single time. If someone told you George Clooney was a spy, would you believe it? No way, why would he want to do that?
Of course, the evidence is all circumstantial, including Meghan’s not-so-subtle, sneaky smile into the camera in the passenger seat of a left hand drive Jaguar in…Britain. Perhaps it was nothing. Perhaps it was a signal to her handlers that everything is going as planned. We may not know for several years.
It’s an interesting situation. Now that Prince Harry is married to a US citizen, he can immediately apply for a green card and become a citizen in three years. Luckily for him, he’s from a country we don’t hate (even though we’re undefeated against them in war). If Meghan properly convinces him to do so, we will have a true “in” with a dual citizen prince, and the CIA, NSA, and FBI have shown they have no problem spying on US citizens. Their child will be a US citizen as well, so two potential heirs to the British crown will be American citizens.
Now bear with me. I don’t want to hear about how far back in line Harry is from the throne. It didn’t matter in “Game of Thrones” and won’t matter now. A child of a prince will always have a claim to the throne. It just depends on who’s in the way. This opens up several avenues to take the throne. Harry could challenge the legitimacy of William’s heir and start The War of Two Kings. Of course, a civil war and ensuing coup d’etat would be an ugly proposition and garner too much attention. Perhaps some shrewd, ruthless political maneuvering, blackmail, persuasion, or threats will cause William and his family to abdicate the throne, which is not unprecedented, allowing Harry and his American son to take over.
This is where it gets interesting. So, eventually King Harry’s son takes the throne and, after years of his mother talking about how amazing and free America is, he declares Great Britain a United States territory. While there may initially be an uproar, eventually the British will realize they are better off as American citizens because, frankly, why would you keep wanting to take losses to anyone, even the United States? Not to mention all of our freedoms and national wealth. Or, alternatively, Harry and Meghan’s son gets his own CIA handler and rules in favor of the United States covertly. Either way, America wins.
I know it’s a little far fetched, but at this point I wouldn’t put much past the CIA to push for regime change in Britain, or just plain up try to annex it. And Meghan Markle’s marriage to Prince Harry is an incredible opportunity for this as long as the CIA is willing to play the long game. We shall see, perhaps someday we will see an American king in Britain, which will solidify our victories in the American Revolution and War of 1812 once and for all..
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