Inside sales at a small company you've never heard of. When I'm not on PGP, you can usually find me having a panic attack during a cold call or spilling coffee on my Tommy Bahama linen shirt. Sometimes I'm funny, but most of the time I'm just a dick.
A couple years ago I made the mistake of trying yoga. I was trying to get with this hippie/dancer chick who was extremely flexible and WAY out of my league. Since she wasn’t a big fan of drinking (“that’s, like, putting poison… in your body, man”), that really eliminated most of my go-to moves. So when she asked me if I would go with her to Bikram yoga, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. I assumed Bikram was just some arbitrary phrase white people said to make their version of yoga sound superior to other forms. Boy was I wrong. Apparently, “Bikram” means “hotter than Satan’s balls” in India. I’ve never sweat so much in my entire life. I couldn’t breathe, due to a combination of the carpet smelling like death and misery, it was 104°, and because at the time I smoked about a pack a day. After what seemed like a century, the instructor said we could take a quick 5 minute break before starting the second half of the class. When I realized I had been inside that death trap for an hour and there was still an hour more to go, I just walked out and I’ve never dated a hippie chick since.
TL;DR: Don’t do Bikram yoga unless you’re some kind of fitness god.
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Keystone ’til I die
Then you’re not doing it right.
Rangers suck. Let’s go Devils.
Your boss is at Coachella? I guess your company doesn’t drug test.
I disagree. One of my brothers and best friends is fat as shit but he never has any problems pulling girls because he’s funny as fuck.
Who pissed in your *kale shake* this morning
I don’t trust Canadians. They’re way too nice to be genuine.
Burning every last one of your bridges out of spite. PGPM
This sounds like it would make a great SNL sketch. Also, what the fuck.
Dude, don’t float out misinformation. I’m having a hard enough time being an adult as it is.
Benadryl and Jack have been my sleeping aids of choice lately… it’s basically the same thing as Zzzquil but much cheaper.
Is there an echo in here?
You scared me, Knox. I thought we had lost you too.
Also, I will never say “no” to watching a Die Hard movie. Bruce Willis is the fucking man.
I’m usually a beer or liquor kind of guy, but champagne at brunch is always my go-to. Great article, these are words to live by.
I’d bet my pitiful 401k that there was. Someone is just refusing to give us closure.
A couple years ago I made the mistake of trying yoga. I was trying to get with this hippie/dancer chick who was extremely flexible and WAY out of my league. Since she wasn’t a big fan of drinking (“that’s, like, putting poison… in your body, man”), that really eliminated most of my go-to moves. So when she asked me if I would go with her to Bikram yoga, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. I assumed Bikram was just some arbitrary phrase white people said to make their version of yoga sound superior to other forms. Boy was I wrong. Apparently, “Bikram” means “hotter than Satan’s balls” in India. I’ve never sweat so much in my entire life. I couldn’t breathe, due to a combination of the carpet smelling like death and misery, it was 104°, and because at the time I smoked about a pack a day. After what seemed like a century, the instructor said we could take a quick 5 minute break before starting the second half of the class. When I realized I had been inside that death trap for an hour and there was still an hour more to go, I just walked out and I’ve never dated a hippie chick since.
TL;DR: Don’t do Bikram yoga unless you’re some kind of fitness god.
“Give me Forums or give me severance pay!” -Brian McGannon, probably.
McG has definitely earned a paid sick day or two. I just hope he’s not wasting them by actually being sick.
NPR? Really? I know there are a lot of left leaners on PGP, but come on…
Your mother doesn’t know what a headhunter is?