Fell for a Tinder bot…again. PGP.

No one has responded to my happy hour group text. PGP.

I probably peaked at 21. Maybe 22. PGP.

The good news is that Nationwide commercial might have bought me some time with the wife’s plans to have kids. PGP.

NYE hangover: day two. PGP.

My girlfriend won’t even let me watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. PGP.

Struck up a flirtationship with the hottest girl in my office. Found out she’s banging my boss. PGP.

Already being asked if I’ve been naughty or nice this year. PGP.

I wanted to turn out like Clark and Ellen, but I ended up like Todd and Margo. PGP.

Was days away from handing in my two weeks at a job I’ve despised for two years. Got a promotion and a 50% raise. Can’t leave now. PGP.