My only attractive coworker got laid off. PGP.

Haven’t gotten a Tinder match in about a week. I’m telling myself it’s an issue with their servers. PGP.

Just broke up with my girlfriend. First thing I did was look at PGP for how to Tinder. PGP.

I’d make 15% more if I had a better fake laugh. PGP.

Every Friday at noon my boss tells me to “Have a good weekend, kiddo” as he heads out the door. PGP.

Getting yelled at by your boss because you have been making the intern water the fake plants for the last three months. PGP.

Last night, I had a dream I bought a Maserati. The entire dream I worried about my credit, car payments, and repair costs. I woke up in a cold sweat. PGP.

Spending longer than you should re-wording emails so you don’t come off as harsh. PGP.

Strategically leaving your computer on a screen that makes it look like you were doing work when you leave your desk. PGP.