James Bond knows what the weight of an empty gun feels like. I’m the same way with my stapler. PGP.

Actually enjoying the hold music groove and then having it ripped away when the other end picks up. PGP.

Had to poop on my lunch break. PGP.

Prop bets on which friend’s baby will cry first at the Super Bowl party, and whose pregnant wife will make him leave first. PGP.

Not necessarily pissed that I had to come in on a snow day, just that everybody else came in too. PGP.

They throw farewell parties with cake for people that quit at my office. Why am I still here? PGP.

Is there a phone number out there whose menu options haven’t changed? PGP.

Keeping an organized desk apparently means I don’t have “enough work to do,” so now I just leave it a mess. PGP.

I flip off just about everyone as soon as they leave my office. PGP.