My ex is stalking me on Linkedin.

Spent the day getting lost in a House Hunters marathon… PGP.

Can I have a raise? “No, also I need you to stay late and come in on Saturday to process that.” PGP.

Just doing whatever because it’s busy season and they can’t afford to fire you. PGP.

If one more person says ‘reach out’ I’m going to reach my hand down their neck and pull out their balls. PGP.

I have no idea how to do my job. Boss said I was doing great. PGP.

Feeling dirty because I cheated on Netflix with Amazon Prime, even though I don’t pay for either. PGP.

Gas, oil and check engine light came on in the same day. I don’t get paid for another week. PGP.

Getting a “Your account balance fell below $25 dollars” email twice in the same week. PGP.