SUMIF

Banking, in reality, is nothing like Wolf of Wall Street. Except the cocaine habits. And the drinking. Those are just about spot on.

Member Since 01/07/2014

  • SUMIF 10 years ago on Why I Could Never Live In The Northeast

    I have a real fear that people will realize just how good life is down South, move here in droves, and completely screw it up. I’ve lived in both places, and there is no amount of money you could pay me to leave the Southern U.S. for the Northeast again.

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  • SUMIF 10 years ago on Unpopular Opinions That Happen To Be True

    Cops, by and large, are a bunch of dicks. I have a lot of friends that are cops, and they are all really great guys, but when they put their badge on, they turn into dicks. They will tell you that they turn into dicks. It’s what they are trained to do. I’m not trying to disparage them here, they have to be dicks. They come in contact with scum a lot more than most professions, and everytime they pull someone over, they have to assume that he or she has a gun and will try to shoot them. It’s a tough way to make a buck, and I don’t mind them being dicks, as long as they do their jobs in a fair and legal manner. Some jobs just require that you have to be an asshole, much like HR.

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  • SUMIF 10 years ago on What It's Like To Have A Full-Blown Panic Attack

    Hungover and highways. Those are my two biggest triggers as well, but mine only happen when I’m a passenger. I’m usually ok when I’m driving. I take Ativan when I feel one coming on. It’s a lot milder than Xanax and you can take more than one if the first doesn’t get you enough relief. Plus, you can still function on them. It might help you with having to “flake out.” Best of luck, bud.

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  • SUMIF 10 years ago on Megyn Kelly Takes Bill O'Reilly To School On Ferguson

    Did I miss something?

    How do you get that Kelly took O’Reilly to town? If anything, O’Reilly made the most logically sound argument. Kelly self-invalidated most every point she was trying to make.

    One of two things happened here: Either you were too busy staring at her to listen (which is understandable), or you keep posting headlines like this to piss us off and get us to comment. Or maybe you’ve just been in Austin too long.

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  • SUMIF 10 years ago on John Oliver Explains Why Your Wage Gap Argument Is Bullshit

    One can make a case for anything when you pick and choose which arguments you wish to cite and which you leave out. You could convince a primitive Amazonian tribesman that Saddam Hussein was a good man if you only showed them pictures of him throwing bread to the homeless and playing with injured children.

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  • SUMIF 10 years ago on America Needs A Lesson On Capitalism

    Case in point: Burger King. I read that a liberal lawmaker from Ohio is proposing a boycott of the fast food chain because they’re moving the company to Canada via the purchase of their canuck counterpart, Tom Horton’s.

    Maybe he’d be better off trying to figure out how a country modeled after European political ideologies has become more business-friendly than the US of A. It used to be that Canada, to quote Mr. Robin Williams was “like the loft apartment above a really great party.” Well, it looks more and more like it’s last call at the party, and late night is upstairs. I hope our generation will wake the hell up.

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  • SUMIF 10 years ago on Prestigious Jobs That Don't Pay Quite What You'd Expect

    There’s a big difference between psychiatrists and psychologists. Namely, psychiatrists are MDs that can prescribe narcotics and have usually completed a fellowship after medical school and residency. They also earn well into six figures. Psychologists have a generally useless four year degree and are normally glorified counselors or academic researchers. I’d say that mid-70s for that type of work is pretty good.

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  • SUMIF 10 years ago on These Are The 20 S&P 500 Companies That Pay 0% In Taxes

    Where do you get that these companies “are the most profitable in America?” Selection to that index is mainly attributed to market cap and trade volume, not profitability. Most of these companies (with the exception of the REITs) posted losses or loss carry-forwards and as such, do not incur tax liability. Plus their shareholders are already taxed on dividends. Please don’t be another uninformed, sensationalist blog-hole. You’re too good for that.

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  • SUMIF 10 years ago on A Moving Robin Williams Tribute

    If this loss doesn’t make you feel like a piece of your childhood is gone, or a small part of your heart is missing, I feel for you. There will never be another like Robin Williams.

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