Looking at new apartments today for when my lease ends. Going to get a studio this time so I can sleep more, not basically live in a frat house anymore, and CLOSE MORE DEALS at work.
I need to stop reading these at my desk. I look really stupid, struggling not to lol as I’m surrounded by coworkers in a silent office, with an open floor plan.
Advertise
8. Masturbating.
Looking at new apartments today for when my lease ends. Going to get a studio this time so I can sleep more, not basically live in a frat house anymore, and CLOSE MORE DEALS at work.
Lying on national television, that you aren’t going to leave your company for a better job. PGPM.
Old town: 1. Benchmark
Per Touching Base last week, what are the four biggest douchebag bars in each large US city?
Charlie, you’re a Naperville guy, aren’t you?
When I’m hungover, I’d drink water from Flint if necessary.
Reading this made me realize I dress like shit.
Let them enjoy their fuckboy haircuts, that they got at an expensive hair salon.
Last girl, you need a stay at home boyfriend? sup?
Be careful, Duda. Sounds like her boyfriend is a bouncer. No one likes beating people up more than bouncers.
I’m taking an uber to work, instead of public transportation for that extra 45 minutes of sleep. Gonna close some deals, today.
Have you see The Revenant? If it did that to Leo, imagine what it would do to me. Take the bad breakup, duh.
I can’t wait to sit in the bleachers with the squad, drink a lot of overpriced beer, enjoy some sun, and get too drunk to pay attention to the game.
Congrats, Uncle Tony.
I’m getting drunk tonight and hoping my buddy’s girlfriend’s roommate thinks I’m funny and hawt.
I’m too cheap to buy the expensive food at stadiums, but I’ll drink eight beers without thinking twice.
500. Dead or alive!
Or going on autopilot.
I need to stop reading these at my desk. I look really stupid, struggling not to lol as I’m surrounded by coworkers in a silent office, with an open floor plan.