I used to work here. Fuck you, all of you whining assholes. Jesus, get a collective life. And fuck your safe space. It’s gone now, and so are your protective nannies who used to wipe your asses and kiss your booboos and tell you everything will be OK. Life’s a bitch and you damn well better get used to it.
The color of one’s tongue is an excellent indicator of hydration. I want to see the tongues of my friends, family, and significant others in order to be ensured that they are hydrating properly.
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Jesus, man…
He isn’t being paid enough to full ass it.
North Dakota State fans are some of the nicer people you will meet.
Delete your account
This is what happens when you hide your vibrator in a boot.
But whatever’s in there has probably been there for a while. Upside: no waiting for a stall when the explosive diarrhea hits.
Jim had the best desk location in The Office because he could see Pam. Though he had to stand up to see her boobs.
The color of one’s tongue is an excellent indicator of hydration. I want to see the tongues of my friends, family, and significant others in order to be ensured that they are hydrating properly.
I’m going to get a tattoo. Which one would look better on my butt, Munch’s The Scream or circa 1969 Keith Richards?
You’re in The Office? Which one are you? Dwight Junior?
Haven’t sex with your shirt on is OK. But you’ve got to take your socks off.
Did
Dillon, Dave, Dan, and Barrett can all come work for me. As long as someone else pays their salaries.
*whoosh*
And as someone who had a brief but eventful career in the banking industry, I can say that I could have really used a good cup of Joe.
Why would a bank want to partner with The Fat Jew? I don’t get it.
Don’t forget the picture of your cat.
Michael Scott
“Flex” perished from overuse several months ago.
Nothing beats laudanum for diarrhea.