At work, daydreaming about what I want to be when I grow up. PGP.

The pregnant woman in the office has complete control of the thermostat. PGP.

This guy I work with walks by my desk every day at 4 to get his mail, signifying there’s an hour left in the workday. We have never spoken or exchanged a glance. He is hands down my favorite coworker. PGP.

Being a democrat in college and a republican after your first paycheck. PGP.

I wish my boss had more vacation time. PGP.

I’m looking for a friend with competitive benefits. Less sexting and more 401k. PGP.

Overhearing a casual phone call to the vet about the patterns and consistency of your cube mate’s dog’s vomit. PGP.

“Board meeting? More like bored meeting. Am I right?” PGP.

Riding a fine caffeinated line between falling asleep and having a seizure. PGP.

I think I may be the epitome of what’s wrong with this generation. PGP.