Getting more matches on bumblebizz than I ever got on bumble. PGP.

Transferring credit card balances to avoid the interest. PGP.

The highlight of my week was definitely getting two free Krispy Kreme donuts. PGP.

My company is on a hiring freeze. PGP.

“You are the first caller to the conference.” PGP.

People who put “(Name), MBA” in their email signatures like they’re a fucking doctor. PGP.

My Pinterest-inspired lunch just looks like a mason jar full of shit. PGP.

Not shitting, but remaining on the pot. PGP.

Tindering at a wedding. PGP.

The closest Chipotle is 50 miles away. PGP.