My coworker managed to tell me a five minute story about how her son missed the bus this morning. PGP.

In yesterday’s mail I received: a mortgage statement, a bill from my dermatologist, and a wedding invitation. So, all bills. PGP.

I am so used to making the “jerking off” motion under my desk while on the phone. Yesterday I accidentally made it while talking to a manager. I am still praying he did not notice. PGP.

I’m not working FIFO or LIFO. I’m working FILO. PGP.

Working for a company that does not even recognize “Casual Fridays.” PGP.

I’m not driving the struggle bus. I’m not even riding the struggle bus. I just got run the fuck over by the struggle bus. PGP.

Leaving your work laptop on your dining room table, but hiding your personal one, that way if somebody breaks in you have a decoy laptop. PGP.

Stealing toilet paper from the hotel you stayed at on your last business trip. PGP.

Coworker brought in leftovers from a party she hosted. Today I am eating like I don’t want my pants to fit anymore.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets sent to HR. PGP.