My mother got Facebook when I was in college and every other weekend she would post “Drink in moderation! Love you!!!!!!!” When I was job-hunting she would post links to career fairs/jobs on my wall instead of privately messaging me. Her heart was (and still is) in the right place but holy fuck that was rough.
Not as bad but I got a new position (It wasn’t a promotion because I wasn’t making any more money but I had a hell of a lot more responsibility) at the publishing company I currently work for back in late August. Their idea of training was sending me 40 pages of notes about how to do my job, and nothing else. I messed up filing reports and they told me to take my time so I wouldn’t repeat my mistakes. I do what they tell me to do.
Month and a half later they call me up and tell me I’m not working fast enough to meet their needs (primarily because I don’t wanna fuck up again so I check my work before sending it). They sent me back to my current position (where they never hired anyone to replace me) and hired someone else. From talking to everyone in the company they all universally agreed that shit like that happens all the time. Admittedly, it’s not nearly as bad as the examples above.
I met my junior/senior year roommate this way. Early sophomore year a mutual friend had people over. We wound up playing a drinking game where we took a shot every time someone died during an episode of SuperJail. We were hammered within twenty minutes.
Is Carly Rae the most unlikely popstar? I feel like she was destined to be a one-hit wonder with Call Me Maybe but she somehow continued making music/being in Grease.
1) During my brother’s bachelor party I drove a golf cart blackout drunk. I did wheelies on the green. I’m an asshole.
2) Said brother was offered four separate jobs from members of the course he caddied at. He is now a sales rep for a medical equipment company. He majored in English.
The best part of this story to me is the people who got to open for her. Say what you will about her comedy but her giving two random people that chance is cool as hell.
-I never used her name
-The one joke she was mad at was “she cheated on me with a pizza man which is weird because she never told me she had cliched fantasies.”
Kendrick’s next album could be a saga describing the plight of African-Americans over the last 400 years and it would still lose to a bunch of songs that were inspired by Taylor Swift not letting Jake Gyllenhaal hit it. Fuck.
My job is laid back to the point where I could probably wear dress sweats every day and get zero flack for it. I’m waiting on my tax return to do serious leisure damage.
Party senior year of college. I hook up with a girl. We go upstairs to my room for privacy and goes down on me. She finishes and we go back downstairs. She points to a dude near my refrigerator and goes “I hate that guy” and makes out with him WITH MY CUM STILL IN HER MOUTH.
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My mother got Facebook when I was in college and every other weekend she would post “Drink in moderation! Love you!!!!!!!” When I was job-hunting she would post links to career fairs/jobs on my wall instead of privately messaging me. Her heart was (and still is) in the right place but holy fuck that was rough.
Not as bad but I got a new position (It wasn’t a promotion because I wasn’t making any more money but I had a hell of a lot more responsibility) at the publishing company I currently work for back in late August. Their idea of training was sending me 40 pages of notes about how to do my job, and nothing else. I messed up filing reports and they told me to take my time so I wouldn’t repeat my mistakes. I do what they tell me to do.
Month and a half later they call me up and tell me I’m not working fast enough to meet their needs (primarily because I don’t wanna fuck up again so I check my work before sending it). They sent me back to my current position (where they never hired anyone to replace me) and hired someone else. From talking to everyone in the company they all universally agreed that shit like that happens all the time. Admittedly, it’s not nearly as bad as the examples above.
-Downton Abbey
-Brunch
-Coworkers They Hate
I met my junior/senior year roommate this way. Early sophomore year a mutual friend had people over. We wound up playing a drinking game where we took a shot every time someone died during an episode of SuperJail. We were hammered within twenty minutes.
Is Carly Rae the most unlikely popstar? I feel like she was destined to be a one-hit wonder with Call Me Maybe but she somehow continued making music/being in Grease.
And by wheelies I mean donuts.
1) During my brother’s bachelor party I drove a golf cart blackout drunk. I did wheelies on the green. I’m an asshole.
2) Said brother was offered four separate jobs from members of the course he caddied at. He is now a sales rep for a medical equipment company. He majored in English.
The “trying to get a reservation at Dorsia” would be changed to “trying to get one of those complicated-as-fuck milkshakes at Black Tap.”
The best part of this story to me is the people who got to open for her. Say what you will about her comedy but her giving two random people that chance is cool as hell.
The video is long gone but:
-I never used her name
-The one joke she was mad at was “she cheated on me with a pizza man which is weird because she never told me she had cliched fantasies.”
I do standup and I shat on my ex in a set that I posted online. Her entire family tried suing me for defamation of character. Good times.
I feel like it was at this point where he truly knew deep down he had no shot. Fucking hilarious, though.
I know so many people who tell me they’ve had days where they “forget to eat” and I want to shake them violently. That’s fucking nuts.
Kendrick’s next album could be a saga describing the plight of African-Americans over the last 400 years and it would still lose to a bunch of songs that were inspired by Taylor Swift not letting Jake Gyllenhaal hit it. Fuck.
My job is laid back to the point where I could probably wear dress sweats every day and get zero flack for it. I’m waiting on my tax return to do serious leisure damage.
This article reminded me that I should buy some dress sweatpants. So thank you for that.
Party senior year of college. I hook up with a girl. We go upstairs to my room for privacy and goes down on me. She finishes and we go back downstairs. She points to a dude near my refrigerator and goes “I hate that guy” and makes out with him WITH MY CUM STILL IN HER MOUTH.
It was so gross but I couldn’t stop laughing.
That girl must have deeply regretted the guy she slept with if she walked out during that. Or she lived close by. Still, what the fuck.
As someone who has eaten yogurt with a fork multiple times at lunch, I salute you and everyone like you.
These are all over the subways in NYC. The ad people for Casper are on so many drugs.