Found my first gray eyebrow hair. PGP.

Was told I’m too old to be of interest to any of the men that work on my floor. I’m 24. PGP.

Every time I crack open a Diet Coke at work I pretend its a beer. PGP.

Canceled lunch plans with friends so I could nap instead. PGP.

Bought a blind fold at a sex toy party. I use it as a sleep mask. PGP.

Ate half a frozen pepperoni pizza for lunch with a side of ranch. Still not the lowest point of my day. PGP.

My life is a series of awkward moments sprinkled with incompetence and debauchery. PGP.

Parents bought a pack of batteries for my niece and nephews’ gifts. Took a couple for my vibrator. Happy holidays. PGP.

All day all staff meeting. Someone take me out back and put me down like Old Yeller. PGP.

My most interested online dating prospect has no license and needs a place to live since he currently resides with his ex. PGP.