I have a theory that religion was the first form of internet. It was a communication tool that informed people and offered a storyline and was able to spread across vast swaths of cultures. Then it went digital thanks to technology. Then we humans do what we do best, we fuck up all good things. Pretty soon the Nihilist Arby’s account will be our supreme leader and every test tube child will be taught science online at christianmingle.youporn.com via augmented reality eyewear and Satan will post his first photo on Instagram of him hanging out with The Pope, the Clintons, and all the top CEO’s at the next Bildeberg convention
Guys and girls, it’s time that we all just retract back into isolation and stay alone for like 10 more years. Go out and enjoy shit where people aren’t, like the desert, the woods, under the ocean, and Filene’s Basement. This will allow ample time for the herd to naturally thin out. Then once we all come back together, there will be so much less traffic everywhere and everyone will actually be excited to see each other in a non-creepy way
A fun game is to call everyone “Steve” even if it’s a woman. And then when they get confused and ask what you are talking about, just vehemently deny ever calling them Steve and say you have no idea what they are talking about
It’s my last day at my job here so I’m taking this opportunity to write every single email as an esoteric erotic snippet and if everyone combined the emails it would be a novel lol
You forgot the ending of the story where a jazzy dude in a tan duster coat is playing a sexy sax solo with sunglasses on at night as the camera pens past him in the foreground and reveals you and Ryan doing adult stuff in front of the fire place and then the camera keeps panning upward toward the starry night sky while the sound of the sax fades to black. FIN
From what I’m aware of, the pineapple thing is real and is their little universal symbol. I don’t think you have to worry about anything until she starts turning them upside down
There’s a swingers community at a golf course neighborhood in my town. It’s all old people basically. So basically old people are getting laid and having more fun than we are. Needless to say, I’m extremely excited to retire….also, you can spot a swinger if they have pineapple pendants or home decor and when they are turned upside down, thats when you know they’re swinging. It’s like their own illuminati symbol. Millennials should start doing this except instead of having a cryptic symbol, we just ask random people from a street corner and tell them we can’t afford rent
I def can’t speak on the drugs thing but I literally just found out that people, everywhere, die, everyday and now my world has been crushed more than when I found out that Barney wasn’t a real dinosaur. Is anything real anymore? I need to retract back into the depths of Mordor to figure out if Golem was a pedophile and also figure out what I’m going to have for lunch tomorrow since I didn’t go grocery shopping tonight lol
Russ, I think it’s time we sit down, do drugs, and drink Lone Stars together until we hammer out a solid tax reform and economic budget for this country
Agreed. The incremental culmination of student debt, credit card debt, sub-Prime lending debt for autos and houses, and corporate debt is what i was talking about mainly but student debt is a huge burden on an entire generation that will be living through the most transient times in society which is why I used that as the focus point
Advertise
I’m really sorry….Sulfuric acid and metal oil drum barrels solve sooooo many problems
Haha I like this guy. Welcome New Guy
Oh come on Jim, you know i love you
Novus*
Canopy Growth Corp. (TWMJF)
Nived Acquisition and Development Corp. (NDEV)
You can’t put a price tag on the gift of love…works every time lol
We should all take LSD and then record an 8 hour podcast live from a field as we talk about destroying the band Phish and hippies
I have a theory that religion was the first form of internet. It was a communication tool that informed people and offered a storyline and was able to spread across vast swaths of cultures. Then it went digital thanks to technology. Then we humans do what we do best, we fuck up all good things. Pretty soon the Nihilist Arby’s account will be our supreme leader and every test tube child will be taught science online at christianmingle.youporn.com via augmented reality eyewear and Satan will post his first photo on Instagram of him hanging out with The Pope, the Clintons, and all the top CEO’s at the next Bildeberg convention
I’m also looking for a running mate for my 2020 Presidential Campaign under the Anti-People Party. Please leave your name below and Venmo me $5,000
Guys and girls, it’s time that we all just retract back into isolation and stay alone for like 10 more years. Go out and enjoy shit where people aren’t, like the desert, the woods, under the ocean, and Filene’s Basement. This will allow ample time for the herd to naturally thin out. Then once we all come back together, there will be so much less traffic everywhere and everyone will actually be excited to see each other in a non-creepy way
A fun game is to call everyone “Steve” even if it’s a woman. And then when they get confused and ask what you are talking about, just vehemently deny ever calling them Steve and say you have no idea what they are talking about
It’s my last day at my job here so I’m taking this opportunity to write every single email as an esoteric erotic snippet and if everyone combined the emails it would be a novel lol
You forgot the ending of the story where a jazzy dude in a tan duster coat is playing a sexy sax solo with sunglasses on at night as the camera pens past him in the foreground and reveals you and Ryan doing adult stuff in front of the fire place and then the camera keeps panning upward toward the starry night sky while the sound of the sax fades to black. FIN
From what I’m aware of, the pineapple thing is real and is their little universal symbol. I don’t think you have to worry about anything until she starts turning them upside down
I signed an NDA with Big Psychedelics
There’s a swingers community at a golf course neighborhood in my town. It’s all old people basically. So basically old people are getting laid and having more fun than we are. Needless to say, I’m extremely excited to retire….also, you can spot a swinger if they have pineapple pendants or home decor and when they are turned upside down, thats when you know they’re swinging. It’s like their own illuminati symbol. Millennials should start doing this except instead of having a cryptic symbol, we just ask random people from a street corner and tell them we can’t afford rent
I def can’t speak on the drugs thing but I literally just found out that people, everywhere, die, everyday and now my world has been crushed more than when I found out that Barney wasn’t a real dinosaur. Is anything real anymore? I need to retract back into the depths of Mordor to figure out if Golem was a pedophile and also figure out what I’m going to have for lunch tomorrow since I didn’t go grocery shopping tonight lol
Russ, I think it’s time we sit down, do drugs, and drink Lone Stars together until we hammer out a solid tax reform and economic budget for this country
Thank you, I appreciate the kind sexual advances although I am not gay
Agreed. The incremental culmination of student debt, credit card debt, sub-Prime lending debt for autos and houses, and corporate debt is what i was talking about mainly but student debt is a huge burden on an entire generation that will be living through the most transient times in society which is why I used that as the focus point