Great piece Crash. Fernandez and I are almost the exact same age so this one really hit home. I remember when he got drafted and I remember watching his first start. Even though I’ve never really met any of these guys you watch them on TV and read about their lives and it almost makes you feel like you know them. This reminds me a lot of the Oscar Taveras situation last summer. Different circumstances of course, but another talented young man gone too soon. Fernandez truly looked like he was having fun every time he stepped between the chalk and we would all be lucky to enjoy anything as much as he enjoyed baseball.
If Austin Meadows is everything they say he is hopefully Cutch’s departure won’t be too hard on the Buccos statistically. But as far as intangibles (and pure numbers) go, Cutch is one of the best in the game. Great guy on the field but even better off from what I hear.
I was in word-for-word the same situation as NSAS and it really has been the toughest situation I’ve ever had to deal with. Dated this girl all through undergrad and for a year of grad school then things went sour when she and I had a disagreement on what “monogamy” meant. To cope with it I always find myself deferring to this little piece of wisdom from my patron saint: “I love eggs, Charlie. And I love crabs. And I love boiling denim and banging whores. And I don’t care if anyone doesn’t like that about me, they don’t have to stick around.”
“Zombies… I’ve seen it once before in a rat, and I see it now in men. Once one gets a taste for its own kind, it can spread through the pack like a wildfire. Mindlessly chomping and biting at their own hinds. Nothing but the taste of flesh on their minds. You know the thing about a rat? It’s got life in its eyes. Black eyes like a doll’s eyes. Don’t seem to be living at all when it come at ya. Till it bites ya. And then the eyes roll over white. You don’t hear nothing but the screaming and the hollering…” -Charlie
I find that the best way to seek out a new friend group is to put out a flyer, something like this: “WHAT UP!!! We’re three cool guys looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in our party mansion. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you are fat you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, nothing sexual.” Make sure the flyer is bicep-shaped.
Personally, I like to start my vacation by floating out on the waves of the Jersey shore with a nice big rumham. Hey, warm sun, cool ocean breezes, getting rip shit on ham.
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Pro tip: do the oven cooking by using the broiler, should only need 4-8 minutes. Also, add par-cooked chopped bacon for maximum deliciousness.
Great piece Crash. Fernandez and I are almost the exact same age so this one really hit home. I remember when he got drafted and I remember watching his first start. Even though I’ve never really met any of these guys you watch them on TV and read about their lives and it almost makes you feel like you know them. This reminds me a lot of the Oscar Taveras situation last summer. Different circumstances of course, but another talented young man gone too soon. Fernandez truly looked like he was having fun every time he stepped between the chalk and we would all be lucky to enjoy anything as much as he enjoyed baseball.
If Austin Meadows is everything they say he is hopefully Cutch’s departure won’t be too hard on the Buccos statistically. But as far as intangibles (and pure numbers) go, Cutch is one of the best in the game. Great guy on the field but even better off from what I hear.
I was in word-for-word the same situation as NSAS and it really has been the toughest situation I’ve ever had to deal with. Dated this girl all through undergrad and for a year of grad school then things went sour when she and I had a disagreement on what “monogamy” meant. To cope with it I always find myself deferring to this little piece of wisdom from my patron saint: “I love eggs, Charlie. And I love crabs. And I love boiling denim and banging whores. And I don’t care if anyone doesn’t like that about me, they don’t have to stick around.”
“There is nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who is smart and attractive. We have to pretend you’re both!”
I’m just glad other people still remember Encino Man
“Zombies… I’ve seen it once before in a rat, and I see it now in men. Once one gets a taste for its own kind, it can spread through the pack like a wildfire. Mindlessly chomping and biting at their own hinds. Nothing but the taste of flesh on their minds. You know the thing about a rat? It’s got life in its eyes. Black eyes like a doll’s eyes. Don’t seem to be living at all when it come at ya. Till it bites ya. And then the eyes roll over white. You don’t hear nothing but the screaming and the hollering…” -Charlie
“I’m not having a glass of wine! I’m having SIX. It’s called a tasting and it’s classy!”
-Randy Marsh
Well, I know what youtube videos I’m procrastinate today’s work with. “Fuck salt! Dammit, these fishsticks are hard as tits!”
I find that the best way to seek out a new friend group is to put out a flyer, something like this: “WHAT UP!!! We’re three cool guys looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in our party mansion. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you are fat you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, nothing sexual.” Make sure the flyer is bicep-shaped.
Personally, I like to start my vacation by floating out on the waves of the Jersey shore with a nice big rumham. Hey, warm sun, cool ocean breezes, getting rip shit on ham.
I think Todd could use a crow egg in these trying times
I hate you