People who put “(Name), MBA” in their email signatures like they’re a fucking doctor. PGP.

Day dreaming about sex in my morning meeting. PGP.

No more sleepovers on weeknights. PGP.

The girl I’m dating just graduated from college and can’t fall asleep before 1am. PGP.

Quit my job on my birthday. Best gift I have ever received. PGP.

My boss’s coffee is as black as her soul. PGP.

One hand on the mouse, two feet in the grave. PGP.

Listening to a coworker talk about her kidney stones. PGP.