My state gave you J. Law, Clooney, two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys, and multiple fifths of bourbon. I gave you a cover letter using Brian McKnight lyrics. Psuedo-adult by day; PGP, TFM, and TSM contributor by night. Please don't ask me to do math.
He was a high school basketball coach. “Was” being the operative word. He resigned after texts from him and an 18-year old student were “leaked.” Haley, the girlfriend, currently has custody of of his manhood, or lack thereof.
True Life: someone hit a deer and we had to wait until whatever state department that does that job came to clear it off the road. I was still reprimanded and told I should’ve set my alarm earlier. Because obviously.
Jesus wept. The original title of this column was “Why Bruno Mars’ Super Bowl Performance was the Most Underwhelming Halftime Show of All Time.” Everyone needs to put their pussies up.
Everyone can calm the fuck down over this line. It wasn’t a racial slur, by any means. I would have said it if his band had been white, as well. 1., they were in monkey suits. 2., Bruno Mars has a not-so-secret monkey fetish. Not everything in the world is meant to offend.
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Happy to help you quit watering down good whiskey.
I’ve heard it’s good with Angry Orchard, too.
It’s way better than with Coke and works awesome to keep the warmth/buzz going after a few shots. It’s just something about those 23 flavors…
I made an adult Lunchable at Mellow once, complete with alcoholic beverage and a pack of lights. http://instagram.com/p/XyH_Fzn8bH/
You look it…
I don’t need vows so long as I have a nice ring and a Range Rover.
Just go ahead and slide a ring on my finger and we can call it a day.
It’s called Fuji White. But I prefer Corris or Causeway Grey. That cool?
He was a high school basketball coach. “Was” being the operative word. He resigned after texts from him and an 18-year old student were “leaked.” Haley, the girlfriend, currently has custody of of his manhood, or lack thereof.
My college town, y’all. Go Tops.
Close. Heroin.
True Life: someone hit a deer and we had to wait until whatever state department that does that job came to clear it off the road. I was still reprimanded and told I should’ve set my alarm earlier. Because obviously.
Hey! Nathan Scott is a saint.
This was amazing.
Tosses panties across room.
Be my Valentine?
Jesus wept. The original title of this column was “Why Bruno Mars’ Super Bowl Performance was the Most Underwhelming Halftime Show of All Time.” Everyone needs to put their pussies up.
Thanks, deezy.
Everyone can calm the fuck down over this line. It wasn’t a racial slur, by any means. I would have said it if his band had been white, as well. 1., they were in monkey suits. 2., Bruno Mars has a not-so-secret monkey fetish. Not everything in the world is meant to offend.
I feel like you’re going to go ahead and tell me regardless of my answer.
Also, I know. I’m going to safely assume that you are not a Kentuckian, though.
I hope he pulls a Glenn, does it anyway. Bonus points if he cuts a nice rock off one of their fingers and gives it to you.
Well, go finish the rest of it. Don’t be rude.
its* goddamn it.