I drive 45 minutes to meet up at a bar but when I get there the older bar tender ask if I’m Jeff. I say yes and then she tells me that she is Tinder’s mother and the other bar tender is the sister and they wanted to check me out first. Then the Tinder promptly shows up with a little more around the waist than I like(damn you pics from the neck up). At this point most would have bowed but I was on a dry streak and we walked over to another bar. This is were we preceded to get to smashed and my memory gets a little fuzzy. Afterwards we stumble back to where we met because apparently she lives with here mother and sister behind the bar. Well we start making out and then we jump in the back seat of my jeep where my seat is already laid down because I have to labs. I guess its dark and she doesn’t notice the tons of dog hair back there and we get it on. That’s when I find out she is a biiiiig time squirter. Once we are done I look like a waded up to my nipples in a pool with dog hair. She says later and goes in the house. Luckily I have extra clothes in the car for random situations like this but it was hell cleaning out the back seat later that day. Not the worst Tinder date but not the best.
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#unleasethelock
I think he got a little over exposed with this rant.
I think Dorn needs to fajit the road
The Swollen Colon Club, the Musky Huskys, the Rolly Polly ate to much Guacamoles, the Obese Geese, the Jelly Belly Whaleys?
Once you settle up the bill how much of a tip do you giver her?
I bet she was the head of the class in photography school
Most toilét wine I’ve tried had a bold flush with a dumpy after taste.
BAAAM! POOOW! DISSERTATION!
This guys a real Ernest Flappingway
Are you patagonna buy a shirt that fits next time?
I’ll see myself out…
I drive 45 minutes to meet up at a bar but when I get there the older bar tender ask if I’m Jeff. I say yes and then she tells me that she is Tinder’s mother and the other bar tender is the sister and they wanted to check me out first. Then the Tinder promptly shows up with a little more around the waist than I like(damn you pics from the neck up). At this point most would have bowed but I was on a dry streak and we walked over to another bar. This is were we preceded to get to smashed and my memory gets a little fuzzy. Afterwards we stumble back to where we met because apparently she lives with here mother and sister behind the bar. Well we start making out and then we jump in the back seat of my jeep where my seat is already laid down because I have to labs. I guess its dark and she doesn’t notice the tons of dog hair back there and we get it on. That’s when I find out she is a biiiiig time squirter. Once we are done I look like a waded up to my nipples in a pool with dog hair. She says later and goes in the house. Luckily I have extra clothes in the car for random situations like this but it was hell cleaning out the back seat later that day. Not the worst Tinder date but not the best.
#team1showernightshower
What’s gross to me are the people who reuse the same bath towel over and over without washing it.
#ewwwww