el oh el, this is fake news. I attempted to get the group to turn around and go back to take tequila shots but everyone insisted on going to the rooftop. Meanwhile, on that rooftop, you got a beer while I got a pitcher of gin + juice, so maybe I should be on the lookout for a new brunch squad
I paid YOUR bus fare last week, hoebag. And, yeah, I am garbage, what of it? I am living my best life and would appreciate a little less judgement from someone who can’t afford their own bus fare.
My level of self control is slim to none (i.e. one beer will become five (5) beers and three (3) shots of tequila), so if you are driving, then I am in, papí.
As a cartographer for an energy company with a zero alcohol tolerance, this article makes me question where I went wrong. Should I quit while shot gunning a beer in my manager’s office? Should I go on a bender during lunch and come back blacked out? Should I do cocaine in the office bathroom? These are all questions that run through my head everyday when I hear about other people going out for lunch beers.
Outfit for the night of New Year’s Eve: low cut black satin / velvet dress, nude heels, hair up in a loose bun, with of course a black velvet choker. The choker just puts out the right… vibe. What can I say? Can’t a girl just live without Grandma choker-shaming me?
“At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.”
Just got back from a weekend in Red River Gorge with 15 of my closest friends for our annual beer olympics. Minimal phone usage due to minimal service. I think I looked at my phone for a grand total of 15 minutes all weekend and it was glorious. Being in a cabin in a remote area is meant for making stupid decisions while blackout drunk, not social media.
Spend time with people who make you forget you have a phone.
I know who I am and what I am about and do not need your judgement. In addition, I had an unlimited alcohol package and my own suite. What was I supposed to do, NOT bang on a ship deck?
I regret to inform you that I do not keep you updated on every single aspect of my sex life. Sorry this is this first time I am telling you. If I had known you were so intrigued, I could have facetimed you in.
Might I also add the top deck of an Alaskan cruise ship? Nothing better than looking off the front of the ship seeing glaciers pass by and feeling the breeze on your face.
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el oh el, this is fake news. I attempted to get the group to turn around and go back to take tequila shots but everyone insisted on going to the rooftop. Meanwhile, on that rooftop, you got a beer while I got a pitcher of gin + juice, so maybe I should be on the lookout for a new brunch squad
Jokes on you, I wouldn’t even be marriage material to a convicted felon. Emotionally unavailable is kinda my thing.
If my future husband doesn’t suggest taking 1-10 tequila shots and then eloping in Vegas, then I am not too sure he the man for me.
I paid YOUR bus fare last week, hoebag. And, yeah, I am garbage, what of it? I am living my best life and would appreciate a little less judgement from someone who can’t afford their own bus fare.
My level of self control is slim to none (i.e. one beer will become five (5) beers and three (3) shots of tequila), so if you are driving, then I am in, papí.
Bitch, please. Imagine me living up to any expectations that anyone has ever had of me.
As a cartographer for an energy company with a zero alcohol tolerance, this article makes me question where I went wrong. Should I quit while shot gunning a beer in my manager’s office? Should I go on a bender during lunch and come back blacked out? Should I do cocaine in the office bathroom? These are all questions that run through my head everyday when I hear about other people going out for lunch beers.
You already stopped looking because you found something, didn’t you?
We all know it won’t be on your floor.
Outfit for the night of New Year’s Eve: low cut black satin / velvet dress, nude heels, hair up in a loose bun, with of course a black velvet choker. The choker just puts out the right… vibe. What can I say? Can’t a girl just live without Grandma choker-shaming me?
“At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.”
Stop thinking you are my friend or that I even care about you, please. It’s not a good look.
Side note, tequila shots this weekend at Rhinehaus?
Just got back from a weekend in Red River Gorge with 15 of my closest friends for our annual beer olympics. Minimal phone usage due to minimal service. I think I looked at my phone for a grand total of 15 minutes all weekend and it was glorious. Being in a cabin in a remote area is meant for making stupid decisions while blackout drunk, not social media.
Spend time with people who make you forget you have a phone.
“they’re good dogs Brent” – favorite comeback from WeRateDogs
It’s all cool, I missed a joke one time, too.
I know who I am and what I am about and do not need your judgement. In addition, I had an unlimited alcohol package and my own suite. What was I supposed to do, NOT bang on a ship deck?
Wish my father ever told me that growing up…
Also, UnderwritingMyLife is a dude.
Always down to lend a helping hand, it’s a pretty easy process actually:
1. Have money
2. Don’t not have money
Real talk though, hope things start looking up and opportunities start panning out for you.
I regret to inform you that I do not keep you updated on every single aspect of my sex life. Sorry this is this first time I am telling you. If I had known you were so intrigued, I could have facetimed you in.
Might I also add the top deck of an Alaskan cruise ship? Nothing better than looking off the front of the ship seeing glaciers pass by and feeling the breeze on your face.