It’s not a question of whether or not I’ll have drinks after work, it’s how many. PGP.

Unsuccessfully comparing work schedules with your girlfriend to find time for a date. PGP.

When your boss describes your title as an “entry level position,” in front of you. PGP.

NCAA bracketology is a lot like life. You can do your research, assess the risks and take the most promising route only to be submarined by some highly-touted jerk who just didn’t want to put in the effort. PGP.

The first time you utter the words “that must have been before your time.” PGP.

Being so excited about having an hour to take a nap that you can’t fall asleep. PGP.

Watching Dirty Jobs and feeling absolutely no solace nor pride in the job that I have.

Last ten minutes before work is done and the boss is doing rounds. The email I have been typing to look busy reads: “akjgsa asdhasklfjh asflh;lkha skhjdihwokqh.” PGP.

If I put as much effort into my work as I do my bracketology I’d probably be CEO by now.

At that point in my life where the car my parents gave me is going to need to be replaced. Shit.