The sad thing is, I KNOW all an awesome wakeboard boat will bring me is a lifetime of morally bankrupt bar trash with tramp stamps spilling pre-mixed Jose Cuervo Margarita all over my $90,000 boat without regard.
For me, the first order of business is to get back in shape — seriously. Run stairs, P90X, bike to work, and walk everywhere. After 1 month, cut that routine in half and start working your way through bar trash and online floozies. Usually this results in terrible sex, so you give up on that, and hope you can maintain at least the half workout routine for the rest of your life (fat chance though) while you wistfully dream about meeting a girl without a vapid personality — because lets face it, you actually have to converse with people on a higher level outside of your alcohol fueled college days. All those girls that were “datable” (read: hot) in college now do something idiotic, like recruiting or social marketing, and crush your soul with unrivaled stupidity when talking about anything of importance. Now here you sit: the paltry age of 25, with the 21-23 year old demographic too annoying and the 24-26 year olds looking for Mr. Settle Down aged 28-35. Sure, you make good money, maybe even more than a lot of 30 year olds, but you aren’t ready to give up on a wakeboard boat. Fuck this, you think back to school and that 7/10 republican girl whose dad owned a successful business–shouldn’t have screwed that one up, cause she’s looking pretty hot right about now. To compensate, you start swiping right on 18 year olds, but no dice. Now full on depression sets in.
Oh yeah, and as a side note, the colony only shows you how useless the vast majority of people would be in an apocalypse. They couldn’t even figure out how to wire a few solar panels together for the longest time, which is about the easiest thing to do ever. Not gonna lie, I would rule the apocalyptic world like Mad Max or the Mariner.
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The sad thing is, I KNOW all an awesome wakeboard boat will bring me is a lifetime of morally bankrupt bar trash with tramp stamps spilling pre-mixed Jose Cuervo Margarita all over my $90,000 boat without regard.
5oclockshadows are her catnip, stay sharp out there fellas.
We need two columns in a single column, inception style. I want to read both accounts side by side.
Alternatively, a collaborative effort the morning after would suffice.
Ok, Martha Stewart.
You sage, you.
You seem like a pomegranate tart kind of girl.
What did you pick?
She could be knee deep in chick flicks and half gallon buckets of cookie dough icecream for all we know as well.
For me, the first order of business is to get back in shape — seriously. Run stairs, P90X, bike to work, and walk everywhere. After 1 month, cut that routine in half and start working your way through bar trash and online floozies. Usually this results in terrible sex, so you give up on that, and hope you can maintain at least the half workout routine for the rest of your life (fat chance though) while you wistfully dream about meeting a girl without a vapid personality — because lets face it, you actually have to converse with people on a higher level outside of your alcohol fueled college days. All those girls that were “datable” (read: hot) in college now do something idiotic, like recruiting or social marketing, and crush your soul with unrivaled stupidity when talking about anything of importance. Now here you sit: the paltry age of 25, with the 21-23 year old demographic too annoying and the 24-26 year olds looking for Mr. Settle Down aged 28-35. Sure, you make good money, maybe even more than a lot of 30 year olds, but you aren’t ready to give up on a wakeboard boat. Fuck this, you think back to school and that 7/10 republican girl whose dad owned a successful business–shouldn’t have screwed that one up, cause she’s looking pretty hot right about now. To compensate, you start swiping right on 18 year olds, but no dice. Now full on depression sets in.
slamher (N.) A girl you just want to throw down on, like in a game of pogs. I don’t know why I wrote that, it’s pretty self explanatory people.
She also sounds straight retarded.
I’m listening to fire on the mountain by Marshall Tucker Band on repeat because I have a date with a red head tonight.
You can see the indents from a previous attempt. Fail.
Gobble Gobble, Mother Fucker. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38RDlYHaDAY
WHERE IS THIS MAGICAL PLACE YOU SPEAK OF?
8. The last 3 minutes of all our lives.
I’ve been around the block. Portland is full of hipsters and the homeless, generally lazy unemployed fucks.
You’d know what you weren’t missing as soon as you got there.
Oh yeah, and as a side note, the colony only shows you how useless the vast majority of people would be in an apocalypse. They couldn’t even figure out how to wire a few solar panels together for the longest time, which is about the easiest thing to do ever. Not gonna lie, I would rule the apocalyptic world like Mad Max or the Mariner.
I have a fisher price grow to pro in my office.