I’ve been able to be friends with exes if it was just a fling (so not really an ex). There are a couple guys who I consider good friends and could never be in a relationship with just because we know we’re not compatible that way. My recent ex had a huge problem with this, but he also had a problem with me talking to guy friends I had no sexual past with, soooo.
My thought is that while you should strive to be the healthiest version of yourself possible, body positivity is about not feeling a sense of shame. Even if you’re not considered obese/overweight, not everyone is going to look like an Instagram model.
If you’re overweight/obese, do something about it. But sitting around feeling shame and disgust at your body is not going to help anything – if anything, that’s made me depressed and less motivated when I’ve been overweight. You can be comfortable in your own body but still work to make it healthier.
My dad never left, but was not there for me emotionally growing up in ways that I needed to be. I’ve recently been coming to terms by how that lack of a role has affected me in my life, and it’s a weird pill to swallow. He’s never going to change or acknowledge the hurt. Is accepting him for who he is and all his limitations allowing myself to be hurt more? Is it still okay to have a relationship with people who have hurt us as long as we keep a wall up from the aspects of their personality that we know are destructive? There’s not really an answer. I’ve learned to accept my dad, with the understanding that I cannot rely on him for emotional support. It seems like you’ve reached a certain level of acceptance too. Thanks for this article!!
I deleted the app off my phone a couple of weeks ago, and I feel so much better. Not that I was posting all that much, but not participating in the stalking/scrolling anymore is great for freeing up some headspace.
I’m turning 28 next month, and it mostly depresses me because it means I’m closer to 30 and feeling the pressure to get my life together. I’ll probably do a low-key thing with my family.
I could see 30 being the one I celebrate because it’s a new “era” in my life of sorts, even if though I doubt I’ll feel any more ready for it in two years.
Retirement gives me crazy anxiety. I logged into my retirement plan the other day and it said estimated monthly healthcare costs for my retirement year w/adjustment for inflation is 13k. My estimated monthly income if I retire at 67 is currently $800/month.
Something’s gotta give… and it can’t be anymore of my paycheck if I still want to pay rent. Gotta get that lottery money!!!!
Roommate couple issues are the worst. Had a really ugly fight with mine about five years ago over her fiance living with us and not paying rent. After that lease ended, I got my own place and have been living alone ever since, even though at times I could barely afford it. It’s worth it to me to have my home really feel like my home.
Honestly, this stuff kind of torpedoed my last relationship. He had major jealously issues and wasn’t cool at all with me being in contact with anyone I’d ever hooked up with, even if there were no feelings involved… which sucks, because I’ve hooked up with several of my guy friends.
I was ashamed to admit I had previously hooked up with a guy who had a reputation of being kind of a fckboy, and then he found out about it. He held it over my head the rest of the relationship as a reason not to trust me. And then he’d get weird about anyone I’d hooked up with liking/commenting on my social media, so I eventually blocked those people for the sake of my relationship. Some of those people I didn’t give a shit about, but some I did consider friends and there were no romantic feelings. It left me feeling isolated and and sort of afraid to have guy friends. Even now that we’re broken up, I don’t think I’d be able to hook up with guy friends again just because I don’t want this issue to arise in my next relationship
In hindsight, this relationship was doomed from the start. Jealously issues are incredibly hard to work though. They can make someone become very controlling and the relationship gets toxic very quickly.
I went to visit my fckbuddy to do the things that fckbuddies do a couple weeks ago. We went out to lunch and a beer before we got down to it, but I wouldn’t call it a date.
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I’ve been able to be friends with exes if it was just a fling (so not really an ex). There are a couple guys who I consider good friends and could never be in a relationship with just because we know we’re not compatible that way. My recent ex had a huge problem with this, but he also had a problem with me talking to guy friends I had no sexual past with, soooo.
BMI also doesn’t really take your frame into account. Two people can be the same height, but it doesn’t mean they should be the same weight.
My thought is that while you should strive to be the healthiest version of yourself possible, body positivity is about not feeling a sense of shame. Even if you’re not considered obese/overweight, not everyone is going to look like an Instagram model.
If you’re overweight/obese, do something about it. But sitting around feeling shame and disgust at your body is not going to help anything – if anything, that’s made me depressed and less motivated when I’ve been overweight. You can be comfortable in your own body but still work to make it healthier.
This is the only article in this series that resembles my own “bender” weekend spending habits. THANK YOU!!!!
Amen. I can’t multitask this way. Giving it, getting it, and staring at the clock to see how long this damn thing has been going on for is too much.
My dad never left, but was not there for me emotionally growing up in ways that I needed to be. I’ve recently been coming to terms by how that lack of a role has affected me in my life, and it’s a weird pill to swallow. He’s never going to change or acknowledge the hurt. Is accepting him for who he is and all his limitations allowing myself to be hurt more? Is it still okay to have a relationship with people who have hurt us as long as we keep a wall up from the aspects of their personality that we know are destructive? There’s not really an answer. I’ve learned to accept my dad, with the understanding that I cannot rely on him for emotional support. It seems like you’ve reached a certain level of acceptance too. Thanks for this article!!
I deleted the app off my phone a couple of weeks ago, and I feel so much better. Not that I was posting all that much, but not participating in the stalking/scrolling anymore is great for freeing up some headspace.
I’m turning 28 next month, and it mostly depresses me because it means I’m closer to 30 and feeling the pressure to get my life together. I’ll probably do a low-key thing with my family.
I could see 30 being the one I celebrate because it’s a new “era” in my life of sorts, even if though I doubt I’ll feel any more ready for it in two years.
Retirement gives me crazy anxiety. I logged into my retirement plan the other day and it said estimated monthly healthcare costs for my retirement year w/adjustment for inflation is 13k. My estimated monthly income if I retire at 67 is currently $800/month.
Something’s gotta give… and it can’t be anymore of my paycheck if I still want to pay rent. Gotta get that lottery money!!!!
$14 entree IS my special occasion dinner…post grad problems.
Roommate couple issues are the worst. Had a really ugly fight with mine about five years ago over her fiance living with us and not paying rent. After that lease ended, I got my own place and have been living alone ever since, even though at times I could barely afford it. It’s worth it to me to have my home really feel like my home.
Honestly, this stuff kind of torpedoed my last relationship. He had major jealously issues and wasn’t cool at all with me being in contact with anyone I’d ever hooked up with, even if there were no feelings involved… which sucks, because I’ve hooked up with several of my guy friends.
I was ashamed to admit I had previously hooked up with a guy who had a reputation of being kind of a fckboy, and then he found out about it. He held it over my head the rest of the relationship as a reason not to trust me. And then he’d get weird about anyone I’d hooked up with liking/commenting on my social media, so I eventually blocked those people for the sake of my relationship. Some of those people I didn’t give a shit about, but some I did consider friends and there were no romantic feelings. It left me feeling isolated and and sort of afraid to have guy friends. Even now that we’re broken up, I don’t think I’d be able to hook up with guy friends again just because I don’t want this issue to arise in my next relationship
In hindsight, this relationship was doomed from the start. Jealously issues are incredibly hard to work though. They can make someone become very controlling and the relationship gets toxic very quickly.
I went to visit my fckbuddy to do the things that fckbuddies do a couple weeks ago. We went out to lunch and a beer before we got down to it, but I wouldn’t call it a date.