Stopping for Tums and condoms before a third date. PGP.

Signed up for Mint.com. All I receive from them are “Low Balance Warning” emails. PGP.

I feel like I’m Leonardo DiCaprio from Catch Me If You Can. Every day I go to my new job, dressing and acting like I belong, and wondering when they’ll figure out I don’t know shit. PGP.

Raging boner in dress pants. PGP.

Sent to HR because I can’t responsibly accept my team being eliminated in the bracket. PGP.

20 minutes of half-assed work deserving an hour of surfing the web and opening NSFW e-mails on your phone. PGP

The high today was 75. The low today was when I ate my lunch alone in my car.

Packing a lunch to save money. Eating lunch by 1030AM. Still ending up at Chipotle. PGP