23% – 0%: Might eventually realize that probably half the people at work have an iPhone charger you can borrow unless you are a complete douchenozzle everyone hates.
Not that I’ve ever *ahem* downloaded porn, as a gentleman you know, but it astounds me that people even question the practice. The internet isn’t always available, and if something was hard to find (or might be taken down for DMCA reasons) it is probably worth downloading.
#2 is a flat out lie. Not only do girls make the bathroom far dirtier than guys do, I’ve never found a hair less than 8 inches long in the bathroom while living with my girlfriend. Guys do three things in the bathroom that don’t involve the toilet (shave, shower, brush teeth), and those activities don’t make nearly as much of a mess as makeup and the litany of other things girls do in the bathroom.
You could have saved yourself some time with this column and just started out with “Why do HS kids act like HS kids?” and “Why would people congregate and socialize with like-minded people?”
People have been doing this shit in gyms since as long as they’ve been around. You sitting there and judging people is pretty much the pot calling the kettle black.
“What happened to working out alone and asking people for spots instead of going with an entire circle jerk to stand around one piece of equipment for half an hour at a time?”
– Shockingly sometimes people like to workout with their friends. That’s the social aspect.
“…I go to the gym at 5:30 after work and see a bunch of red-faced teenagers screaming like a pack of bonobos in heat.”
– Which is something you admitted to doing when you were younger.
Next time, instead of writing this column, ask yourself why a person might not act as stupid as they did when they were younger and then ask yourself why you do some things alone versus with other.
I prefer to work out alone. I don’t really need someone to motivate me and only need the occasional spot. People acting loud as shit in a gym is annoying but they’ve been doing it forever.
If you’re interviewing for jobs and still doing drugs, you’re a fucking idiot. If you have to ask yourself this question, just tell the company you have interviews with other companies and would like a bit of time. They might let you.
The woman broke up with a guy who was banging the girls HS basketball team. Might want to double check the editorial process there.
Also if he’s banging a bunch of HS girls, I don’t think he really cares whether or not someone posted the breakup on FB. Additionally if you spend half of the letter emphasizing how much better you are than the sleaze bag you’re dating, it doesn’t come off as the most secure way to do things.
Yeah if they try to set you up, it’s not going to be a secret. They might try to make it a secret, but that will only make it more obvious than when they just straight up tell you.
I’ve had one panic attack, which I barely remember, in my 20s. I had a last minute business trip to a client. That meant I had to be onsite all week for them and still manage to juggle my other clients’ calls, meetings, and work. I went to bed early for my 6 am flight, not worried at all about it. I remember waking up and walking around, but according to my GF I was super stressed and ranting for like 15 minutes. After that was over I had a glass of water and immediately passed back out.
That week sucked but at least my only major panic attack was something I’ll never really remember.
How did they graduate from college if they can’t even realize that the total wages on their paycheck was different than the amount that hit their bank account?
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Nice, you removed my comment and changed the title.
This made me laugh very hard.
I think this would be #6 of your column:
6) Don’t bother writing this column and go have a drink instead
23% – 0%: Might eventually realize that probably half the people at work have an iPhone charger you can borrow unless you are a complete douchenozzle everyone hates.
I’m a hundred percent behind this, but I’m okay with making them go D-League before the NBA. I’d also be on board with Silver’s proposal.
Not that I’ve ever *ahem* downloaded porn, as a gentleman you know, but it astounds me that people even question the practice. The internet isn’t always available, and if something was hard to find (or might be taken down for DMCA reasons) it is probably worth downloading.
#2 is a flat out lie. Not only do girls make the bathroom far dirtier than guys do, I’ve never found a hair less than 8 inches long in the bathroom while living with my girlfriend. Guys do three things in the bathroom that don’t involve the toilet (shave, shower, brush teeth), and those activities don’t make nearly as much of a mess as makeup and the litany of other things girls do in the bathroom.
This guy sounds like the love child of L Ron Hubbard and Joseph Smith.
This is even overlooks the hilarious fact that a 2% surcharge was tacked onto the bill because of damage. Thye broken a friction’ chamber pot.
You could have saved yourself some time with this column and just started out with “Why do HS kids act like HS kids?” and “Why would people congregate and socialize with like-minded people?”
People have been doing this shit in gyms since as long as they’ve been around. You sitting there and judging people is pretty much the pot calling the kettle black.
“What happened to working out alone and asking people for spots instead of going with an entire circle jerk to stand around one piece of equipment for half an hour at a time?”
– Shockingly sometimes people like to workout with their friends. That’s the social aspect.
“…I go to the gym at 5:30 after work and see a bunch of red-faced teenagers screaming like a pack of bonobos in heat.”
– Which is something you admitted to doing when you were younger.
Next time, instead of writing this column, ask yourself why a person might not act as stupid as they did when they were younger and then ask yourself why you do some things alone versus with other.
I prefer to work out alone. I don’t really need someone to motivate me and only need the occasional spot. People acting loud as shit in a gym is annoying but they’ve been doing it forever.
If you’re interviewing for jobs and still doing drugs, you’re a fucking idiot. If you have to ask yourself this question, just tell the company you have interviews with other companies and would like a bit of time. They might let you.
HR would be a lot more fun to deal with assuming they started drinking at noon on Thursdays too.
The woman broke up with a guy who was banging the girls HS basketball team. Might want to double check the editorial process there.
Also if he’s banging a bunch of HS girls, I don’t think he really cares whether or not someone posted the breakup on FB. Additionally if you spend half of the letter emphasizing how much better you are than the sleaze bag you’re dating, it doesn’t come off as the most secure way to do things.
Excellent column. You also owe us Sandlot (potential goldmine) and either Big Green or Little Giants.
Yeah if they try to set you up, it’s not going to be a secret. They might try to make it a secret, but that will only make it more obvious than when they just straight up tell you.
I’ve had one panic attack, which I barely remember, in my 20s. I had a last minute business trip to a client. That meant I had to be onsite all week for them and still manage to juggle my other clients’ calls, meetings, and work. I went to bed early for my 6 am flight, not worried at all about it. I remember waking up and walking around, but according to my GF I was super stressed and ranting for like 15 minutes. After that was over I had a glass of water and immediately passed back out.
That week sucked but at least my only major panic attack was something I’ll never really remember.
It seems like it didn’t go wrong.
How did they graduate from college if they can’t even realize that the total wages on their paycheck was different than the amount that hit their bank account?
They denied the T-Mobile/Att merger, so I have some hope left out.
What kind of modern office uses CRTs?