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Are you unhappy with your appearance? Do you hate eating? Do you need to lose weight? Well, look no further! The solution to all of your worldly problems has finally been solved! Join the select few who have found their life’s calling in Breatharianism and watch as you gradually disappear back into the universe that bore you! The transition is simple: vegetarianism, veganism, raw foods, liquid diet, and finally a healthy diet of air and light!
Breatharianism is the belief that humans can survive solely on prana. In yoga, prana is described as the original life source. It is an energy that fuels the human body. When the body is full of prana, it thrives. When it is low, the body deteriorates and sickness sets in. This, I understand. Yoga is all about breathing techniques, positivity, and becoming one with the universe. Meditation incorporates these ideals, as well.
Various religions and practices consider prana as a life source, but what differentiates them from Breatharianism is that the latter relies solely on prana for nourishment. To put it simply, followers live on air and light. Granted, air and light are life forces, but humans need more to stay alive. Maybe that’s why some Breatharians have died from dehydration and starvation. Irony?
My question is: If prana is all it takes to survive, why does the human body shut down? Wiley Brooks has a solution: Diet Coke and cheeseburgers.
Wiley Brooks, who has been a Breatharian for many years now, writes on his website, “It is better to have some diet coke in your bloodstream (if possible) before starting the meditation exercise.” According to Brooks, Diet Coke apparently contains “liquid light.” Wow. All these years I thought I liked it just for the taste–I’m practically a ready-made member! He goes on to write that Breatharians can eat double quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald’s, too, because it is a fifth dimensional food. If that’s not enough for you, he also sells “Elixir of the Gods” for a small fee of $500 and offers Breatharian workshops for $1 million. This man is made of crazy.
Michelle Pfeiffer was almost part of this crazy cult. Luckily, someone told her she was an idiot and she got out. What the fuck is wrong with rich people? Valeria Lukyanova, the human Barbie, made headlines recently about this nonsense and guess what? Bitch is rich. And completely bonkers. She believes she is from another planet and is here to teach us the ways of light and air. I’m guessing she also lives on a rainbow.
I’ve concluded that not eating makes people really, really crazy. The good thing is that these people are weeding themselves out. Is that a bad thing to think? Whatever, who cares?
I don’t know about you guys, but Hank Williams comes to mind:
“I saw the light, I saw the light
No more darkness, no more night
Now I’m so happy, no sorrow in sight
Praise the Lord, I saw the light.”
[via Huffington Post]