“Ass ass ass ass ass ass.” Forgetting to change XM to the classic rock station before heading to lunch with coworkers. PGP.

TYPING AN EMAIL IN ALL CAPS TO AN ASSHOLE CLIENT only to pussy out and trash it. PGP.

Awkwardly removing valuables from your car while they guy waits to starts detailing it. PGP.

Spending Sunday looking for the fire alarm that is making noise. PGP

Convincing yourself you’re only single because you swiped the wrong way on Tinder that one time. PGP.

Being so out of shape you can drink a 40 faster than you can run a 40. PGP

My cholesterol is higher than my credit score. PGP.***If you dont like that one. Try the one below***My credit score isn,t as high as my blood pressure. PGP.

Receiving calls about donating to the university even though you haven’t finished paying them back for when you attended. PGP

Using the “It will evaporate” technique on spills including liquids that aren’t water. PGP.