HR emails are the new on campus fliers. Trash. PGP.

My little cousin said she loves Beyoncé. Trying to bond, I told her I liked Destiny’s Child. She had no idea what I was talking. PGP.

Enjoying Timehop more than your present day Facebook. PGP.

Dilbert is the only person who understands me. PGP.

Looking for the cheapest thing on the registry. PGP.

I only drink so I can eat fast food later without judgement. PGP.

If I’m leaving work at the same time as a coworker, I’ll dip into the bathroom so I don’t have to talk to them the whole way out. PGP.

Answering the phone with a fake accent to make your day just a little more interesting. PGP.

Your doctor reminding you that not every pizza is a personal pizza. PGP.

I can’t Rage Against The Machine anymore, because i’m part of it. PGP.