The three-day week of Thanksgiving introducing more stress in your life than your average five-day work week.

Jeff Sessions submitting his resignation at his boss’s “request.”

Convincing yourself that your 401(k)’s dismal October performance is just a Halloween prank.

Running out of time to make it onto a “30 Under 30” list.

“Just a few housekeeping items…” Fuck.

People who click and un-click their pens constantly while walking through the office.

Just bought an ice scraper for my car. I live in Florida. PGP.

Getting hungry while reading the Pie v. Cake debate in your cube, having already eaten your lunch. PGP.

Got Chinese food and my fortune cookie didn’t have a fortune inside. PGP.

“I have some heartburn about this…” Fuck. PGP.