Caroline Gould is a personal branding expert and career consultant based in Washington, D.C. Her signature program is called Self Discovery School. She also writes a weekly advice column on Post Grad Problems. Submit your question or find out more on delphiknowthyself.com
HELLL YES! I have more friends with side hustle in addition to full time than I promise my parents ever had. Part of is a need to pay off debt, but the other part is just the deep well of ambition that fuels so many in our generation. We see all that’s out there and don’t surrender.
No forty hour work weeks, no watches after 25 years of service, no pensions, no social security. We’re not the weenies here.
You’re doing it right- easiest way to find a job is to already have one. Try not to let bitterness from their poor treatment taint other areas of your life/poison your work and sterling record you’ve worked so hard on.. Good luck–and don’t be afraid to go in big with your negotiations with your potential new employer.
Mads- My hair was down to my waist for years until very recently. Washing then drying it all took a good hour and a lot of upper body strength and bluntly- ain’t nobody got time for that. Washing your hair every day is also consider by some to not be so good for it.
Shower caps and dry shampoo are my close friends. I work out at night, so I shower at night (also my gym has nicer towels/shampoo/conditioner than I use at home plus free razors–might as well get my money’s worth and let them buy my shower accouterments and do the laundry.). It would be grosser to sleep in my sweat until the morning.
The promise of a chocolate banana smoothie protein smoothie is usually enough to rouse me from bed. I really love breakfast. I feel pretty awake when I get up. If I’m tired, I don’t have a choice because my cat wants to be fed and will defiantly start gnawing on my iPhone. (Hit the humans where it hurts).
As long as no one shits the bed, my sheets are always pretty effing clean. So no worries there.
I brush my teeth a lot. Trader Joe’s spearmint is my jam.
Madoff I am really confused about this all female office that seems to get you as dirty as a coal mine. WHERE do you work?
I also subscribe to something new in the closet in must equal something out. Consigning is easier than ever now with so many apps in addition to eBay. Hate shipping hassle? Do a search for consignment in your area. The better/more high end places have a “you get paid when we get paid” model and you tend to get more money as a result, but for quick cash check out Buffalo Exchange.
I also cut down on the water and Ubers ad pack my lunch (for one week now..)
A sleeper tip is Coinstar-ing loose change. You may be in line behind a homeless person, but popping in spare change and having the machine spit out cash or a useful gift card in return (Amazon, groceries) is well worth it.
I can’t fully comment because I’ve missed most of these on account of being out of the game since mid ’13. (As someone with 40+ unread texts, it seems like I’d be screwed with all this “exploding offer” functionality).
I’m glad to see Hinge at #1 the friend of a friend thing works out pretty solidly. It makes it less weird to integrate friends. And when you match, you get funny date ideas (does that still happen?)
Agree with OKC as DFL. It is a weird, weird place. I have had very good outcomes, but also very bad ones–plus the weirdest/scariest game of my life spit at me. I did know whether to laugh or call the cops most times.
Huge- I do not think that needs to be an entire article. I actually thing you are overthinking it. Your not feeling aligned IS a valid, good reason. You both deserve someone who lights you up. Would you want to be with someone who liked you but wasn’t totally feeling you?
I recommend this: when you break up, do it at her place (aka you can get up and go–easier that getting an upset person to leave your place), and bring the conversation back to you. You want different things, you have different ideas etc. She may needle you for “what did she do.” This is a vehicle for her to get back some of the control she may feel was lost. If the issue is “her” she mau feel she can “fix” the situation and thereby control it. If it’s not her issue (which it seems it isn’t) there is nothing she can do but accept it.
Or she may take it better than expected.
What you don’t want to do is pick a fight, let things get bad, or do something dick so you have an “out.” That’s just a whole pile of dishonesty and bad karma. There is less trauma in the truth.
Either way, you’re an adult, your time is precious, it deserves to be fulfilling. Good luck.
Don’t get all about “you”ability; it takes two in a relationship. I hope you find some cool shit to do this holiday season, or get in touch with and old activity or thing you love. One night, I went over to a good friend’s we listened to Dookie while making dinner (pasta–maximum comfort), then threw on Team America. Back to the basics.
Sorry for the cheesy comment, but I don’t like to see people blaming themselves. I wouldn’t take it as saying a ton about you.
Big Ten and BK
Thanks for reading! After I got out of my Ophelia-level depths of darkness, one thing I knew was I wouldn’t go back to that-ever. I am glad to help others (even a tiny bit) avoid it the same. Because here’s the thing–going down that path just prolongs your suffering. You won’t not hurt, but you can really focus on holding onto and maintaining yourself.
Making, accepting, and sticking to a break up decision is a test in mettle. You’ll get through it. One day, you’ll be totally on the other side of this and better for it.
Clay– I am so sorry. Feeling like shit is ok. Start checking out some new classes or lessons tonight, or plan a Netflix and Chill with a potential dry humpee. You’ll get through it. We’re here for you.
Advertise
If we’re talking less than three stories, I say go for the jump Todd!
I’ll own my “meh” here. That was way lame. ^
That’s why I don’t cook.
Hah. As far I know he’s not on the receiving end of those National Enquirer inmate pen pal letters…yet.
I’m sorry, but the porn kitchen has carpet?
HELLL YES! I have more friends with side hustle in addition to full time than I promise my parents ever had. Part of is a need to pay off debt, but the other part is just the deep well of ambition that fuels so many in our generation. We see all that’s out there and don’t surrender.
No forty hour work weeks, no watches after 25 years of service, no pensions, no social security. We’re not the weenies here.
You’re doing it right- easiest way to find a job is to already have one. Try not to let bitterness from their poor treatment taint other areas of your life/poison your work and sterling record you’ve worked so hard on.. Good luck–and don’t be afraid to go in big with your negotiations with your potential new employer.
Mads- My hair was down to my waist for years until very recently. Washing then drying it all took a good hour and a lot of upper body strength and bluntly- ain’t nobody got time for that. Washing your hair every day is also consider by some to not be so good for it.
Shower caps and dry shampoo are my close friends. I work out at night, so I shower at night (also my gym has nicer towels/shampoo/conditioner than I use at home plus free razors–might as well get my money’s worth and let them buy my shower accouterments and do the laundry.). It would be grosser to sleep in my sweat until the morning.
The promise of a chocolate banana smoothie protein smoothie is usually enough to rouse me from bed. I really love breakfast. I feel pretty awake when I get up. If I’m tired, I don’t have a choice because my cat wants to be fed and will defiantly start gnawing on my iPhone. (Hit the humans where it hurts).
As long as no one shits the bed, my sheets are always pretty effing clean. So no worries there.
I brush my teeth a lot. Trader Joe’s spearmint is my jam.
Madoff I am really confused about this all female office that seems to get you as dirty as a coal mine. WHERE do you work?
And just like every day…you’ve gone and made my (gif) day.
Gift card to the grocery store you’re shopping at = way to go.
I also subscribe to something new in the closet in must equal something out. Consigning is easier than ever now with so many apps in addition to eBay. Hate shipping hassle? Do a search for consignment in your area. The better/more high end places have a “you get paid when we get paid” model and you tend to get more money as a result, but for quick cash check out Buffalo Exchange.
I also cut down on the water and Ubers ad pack my lunch (for one week now..)
A sleeper tip is Coinstar-ing loose change. You may be in line behind a homeless person, but popping in spare change and having the machine spit out cash or a useful gift card in return (Amazon, groceries) is well worth it.
Good tips!
There was once a due I encountered in DC who had a pic of five of his cats in a bathtub. #tradeya
How do they vet your farming credentials? Is there a quiz? Or is it farmers’ honor system?
I can’t fully comment because I’ve missed most of these on account of being out of the game since mid ’13. (As someone with 40+ unread texts, it seems like I’d be screwed with all this “exploding offer” functionality).
I’m glad to see Hinge at #1 the friend of a friend thing works out pretty solidly. It makes it less weird to integrate friends. And when you match, you get funny date ideas (does that still happen?)
Agree with OKC as DFL. It is a weird, weird place. I have had very good outcomes, but also very bad ones–plus the weirdest/scariest game of my life spit at me. I did know whether to laugh or call the cops most times.
Anyone ever go on FarmersOnly?
Huge- I do not think that needs to be an entire article. I actually thing you are overthinking it. Your not feeling aligned IS a valid, good reason. You both deserve someone who lights you up. Would you want to be with someone who liked you but wasn’t totally feeling you?
I recommend this: when you break up, do it at her place (aka you can get up and go–easier that getting an upset person to leave your place), and bring the conversation back to you. You want different things, you have different ideas etc. She may needle you for “what did she do.” This is a vehicle for her to get back some of the control she may feel was lost. If the issue is “her” she mau feel she can “fix” the situation and thereby control it. If it’s not her issue (which it seems it isn’t) there is nothing she can do but accept it.
Or she may take it better than expected.
What you don’t want to do is pick a fight, let things get bad, or do something dick so you have an “out.” That’s just a whole pile of dishonesty and bad karma. There is less trauma in the truth.
Either way, you’re an adult, your time is precious, it deserves to be fulfilling. Good luck.
Don’t get all about “you”ability; it takes two in a relationship. I hope you find some cool shit to do this holiday season, or get in touch with and old activity or thing you love. One night, I went over to a good friend’s we listened to Dookie while making dinner (pasta–maximum comfort), then threw on Team America. Back to the basics.
Sorry for the cheesy comment, but I don’t like to see people blaming themselves. I wouldn’t take it as saying a ton about you.
Frank- Happy Veteran’s Day; thank you for your service! Glad you’re feeling back to yourself.
Big Ten and BK
Thanks for reading! After I got out of my Ophelia-level depths of darkness, one thing I knew was I wouldn’t go back to that-ever. I am glad to help others (even a tiny bit) avoid it the same. Because here’s the thing–going down that path just prolongs your suffering. You won’t not hurt, but you can really focus on holding onto and maintaining yourself.
Making, accepting, and sticking to a break up decision is a test in mettle. You’ll get through it. One day, you’ll be totally on the other side of this and better for it.
Clay– I am so sorry. Feeling like shit is ok. Start checking out some new classes or lessons tonight, or plan a Netflix and Chill with a potential dry humpee. You’ll get through it. We’re here for you.
for four grand? with a 7?