I only get new clothes at Christmas and my birthday.

I have managed my company’s NFL tickets for three years. I am yet to go to a game. PGP.

There are seven Mikes in our office. PGP.

Turn down for what? Turned down for a raise, that’s what. PGP.

Annual review brought a title change, increased work load and no raise. PGP.

My parents have endorsed me for every skill I have listed on LinkedIn. PGP.

“College me” would beat the shit out of “post grad me.” PGP.

Driving and emailing is now a much more significant issue than driving and texting. PGP.

14,173 days, 6 hours, 56 minutes and 39 seconds until retirement. PGP.