Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we’re going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don’t know, I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.
Woke up 12 minutes before I had to get out the door with a dry mouth, a prostate the size of a honeydew, and a head full of bad memories. Had a first date last night. Pints and craft cocktails. Daddy’s head and wallet are hurtin this morning’. But it’s Friday, mawfucka, LET”S GET THIS BREAD.
Last night, I hallucinated for 7 hours until I woke up. Then I went into a ceramic room, where a metal nozzle sprayed me with jets of water as I rubbed fruit scented chemical gel on my body. After that, I ate the unborn young of a chicken and drank hot, bitter bean water. Today, I will sit in a chair for 9 hours, staring at an LCD screen in hopes of earning a worthless piece of paper so I can wake up and afford to do it all again tomorrow.
Not to be that guy, but didn’t Girl already meet Claire at like a costume party? I recall Todd and her having a blowout, only for Todd to shoutwhisper through the bathroom door something like, “By the way her name is Claire.”
I splurged for a French Press and an electric kettle for my cube a little while back. My average heart rate is at an all time high, and my wallet is feeling the love.
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You motorboatin’ sonofabitch, you old sailor you!
Where at? I live on the Gulf
Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we’re going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don’t know, I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.
Thanks, Sarge! *Internet high five*
Woke up 12 minutes before I had to get out the door with a dry mouth, a prostate the size of a honeydew, and a head full of bad memories. Had a first date last night. Pints and craft cocktails. Daddy’s head and wallet are hurtin this morning’. But it’s Friday, mawfucka, LET”S GET THIS BREAD.
Just bought tickets to see him live at The Wharf on May 6.
2 homemade Chicago dogs. Old Style tallboys.
Last night, I hallucinated for 7 hours until I woke up. Then I went into a ceramic room, where a metal nozzle sprayed me with jets of water as I rubbed fruit scented chemical gel on my body. After that, I ate the unborn young of a chicken and drank hot, bitter bean water. Today, I will sit in a chair for 9 hours, staring at an LCD screen in hopes of earning a worthless piece of paper so I can wake up and afford to do it all again tomorrow.
via GIPHY
Bout to run train on a dozen raw oysters and 3-5 Yuengling pints
I couldn’t help but read all these in Patrick Bateman’s voice.
His best friend sucks…
Not to be that guy, but didn’t Girl already meet Claire at like a costume party? I recall Todd and her having a blowout, only for Todd to shoutwhisper through the bathroom door something like, “By the way her name is Claire.”
I’m drinking for speed, not for comfort.
Fired up the grill. Bacon Cheddar Burger w/ homemade garlic parm sweet potato fries. And several Busch Light tallboys.
Currently putting in a shift as the younger man in a budding romance with a gal 7 years my senior. Will report my findings at a later date.
Sorry, I don’t think I understand your question.
I splurged for a French Press and an electric kettle for my cube a little while back. My average heart rate is at an all time high, and my wallet is feeling the love.
Game changer. Man, sushi gets up there quick…especially for 2.
Bowl of Campbell’s Double Noodle Soup, a handful of smokehouse almonds, and a 25oz oil-can of Foster’s.