My boss demanded that I have a project on his desk by 7:30 this morning, so I got here hours early to finish it. He just emailed us saying he’s taking the day off. PGP.

Long, bitter, polarizing arguments about the merits of candy corn. PGP.

“Cake-eater” being more of a description of my diet than a ’90s insult. PGP.

On their birthdays, everyone in the office gets a cake. I got two bowls of fruit because “We thought you were trying to watch your weight.” PGP.

My boss emailed me a link to a satire website article about Obama planning to forgive student loans, then called me hysterically laughing about how funny it was. I didn’t laugh. PGP.

The “Is it worth turning the heat past 65?” struggle. PGP.

Really struggling through the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show hangover right now. PGP.

Buying the footlong so you have lunch and dinner, but then eating the whole thing for lunch. PGP.

Having to congratulate people in the office on becoming grandparents. PGP.

Actually using the vegetable drawer of your refrigerator for vegetables, not beer. PGP.