Going on a “day date” at the zoo instead of tailgating. PGP.

Someone shared “12 things you never knew you could put in the dishwasher” on Facebook. I don’t have a dishwasher. PGP.

“They make chicken that doesn’t come in a can?” PGP.

Responding with “Let’s not play pass the blame here, okay?” when someone asks you a simple question in a conference call. PGP.

Leaving your voicemail full so you don’t have to call people back. PGP.

Trying to figure out how to make a Lunchables pizza, 2 cans of SpaghettiOs and meatballs, and some shredded cheese last me until payday. PGP.

Adderall and Celexa by day, Ambien and Valum by night. PGP.

Calling 1-800 talk dirty numbers from your coworker’s phone when he steps out for lunch. PGP.