Jordans in the office Friday, unemployment line Monday. PGP.

I want to trash my office on the way out tonight and just ride off into the sunset a hero. PGP.

Someone broke into my car last night and took literally none of my possessions. PGP.

We’d been inching closer for weeks, but my bathroom schedule has officially lined up with my boss’s. PGP.

If your name is Steve, does that automatically make you the Steve in your office? PGP.

Getting to the office at 7 a.m. Eating “lunch” at 4 p.m. PGP

There’s always trade school. PGP.

Having your hair color described as salt and pepper. At age 27. PGP.

Mom coming to visit this weekend. Perfect timing. I have $17 left in my checking account. PGP.

Coworker asked if I had dental work done because my cheek looked swollen. I had a dip in. PGP.