afterthegame

Just a St. Louis guy living the postgrad dream of working in risk management for a financial firm and searching for websites not blocked by IT.

Member Since 10/10/2013

  • afterthegame 8 years ago on I Skipped My Coworker's Wedding To Throw Down At A Christmas Party

    Haha no, I just can’t get the most out of a lot of your stuff since any links to reddit, gifs, videos, pictures, or really any other website is blocked for me. I do enjoy your writing for sure
    For the record, I also have no idea how strong Shibby’s gif game is, although the kids tell me it’s fire.

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  • afterthegame 8 years ago on I Skipped My Coworker's Wedding To Throw Down At A Christmas Party

    This being one of three websites not blocked by corporate IT policy, I’ve spent more time on this website than I care to admit since August. And other than giving me the occasional itch to put my writing minor to use, you guys have begun to feel like my surrogate post grad friends (without your knowledge or acceptance) because of how inclusive your writing feels.
    Will and Caroline as the PGP power couple who can relate to every situation and just make you feel better about life.
    Madoff as the guy who comes across as mature as his picture, but you’d still want to get a drink with him.
    Everyone wants to party with the shib, because it’s more put together and age appropriate than the guy who still thinks he’s in college.
    Crash had some shit hit him and he’s one of the few people who came out the other side not only sane, but better.
    I guess what I’m saying in the most awkward way possible is keep up the good work all of you. You make the 60 to 80 hour work week more bearable.

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  • afterthegame 8 years ago on To My Friend Who Just Got A Dog With His Girlfriend

    Googling how 401Ks work hit a little too close to home. I just started a new job and they asked about how I’d like to set up my retirement package. I spent the next hour doing nothing but sitting on Google trying to figure out what the various options even meant.

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  • afterthegame 9 years ago on 8 Tips For Pulling The Plug On Your Relationship

    I went to Germany shortly after that movie came out on DVD, and I happened to have it on my iPod. Turns out, the German version of the movie skips the whole lil Hitler scene. Just a fun fact that I remembered after a solid stream of references.

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  • afterthegame 9 years ago on Stay The Fuck Home

    Many of these sound how my plans will go wrong…except the girlfriend bought the tickets. So I will be the fuck not home.

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  • afterthegame 10 years ago on How To Write A Shitty Young Adult Novel

    Holy Jesus, I wrote about pretty much this exact same thing for my senior thesis, and of course filled it with a lot of psychology and other research to make the obvious defensible.

    It makes me a blast at parties, and I’m beginning to suspect it might have something to do with my unemployment.

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  • afterthegame 10 years ago on How Did You Lose Your Virginity?

    I think mine is actually pretty good…in a horrible, ridiculous kind of way.

    Senior year of high school…her parents liked me a lot, and I was also tutoring her in math, so I could stay as late as I needed to (basically as long as I was gone before they got up, it was all good).

    Well one winter night we decided to try to have sex. It was like trying to put a hotdog through the hole of a ritz cracker. Once said hot dog began to bend painfully, even the horny 18 year old was willing to call it quits.

    I go outside at 2 am…and my car has been completely plowed in. So I have to go inside and wake up her parents to tell them I’m going to have to stay the night. They make up the pull-out couch for me, and since I was terrified to make them not like me, I did not go upstairs when my girlfriend invited me to come up to her bed.

    The next morning when I’m still half asleep, her dad sends her little brother outside to clear off my car while he makes me breakfast. During this time, I was losing my virginity to her on a towel in her closet floor. So her family was making me food and helping me out while I deflowered their daughter.

    When I told my friends about it all, they admitted they had paid the plow truck to push all the snow on the street around my car. So I lost my virginity because my friends are assholes.

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