“This online training will take approximately one hour to complete.” Bet I can make it two. PGP.

It would be less embarrassing for my nudes to leak than my bank account balance. PGP.

The amount of work I didn’t do today almost makes me feel guilty. Almost. PGP.

When you realize your student loan debt wouldn’t be a bad annual salary. PGP.

I don’t have anything witty to say, I just really hate my job. PGP.

One hand on the mouse, two feet in the grave. PGP.

Starting a new game with myself called “How casual can I dress before I start getting questionable looks from coworkers?” PGP.

Taco Bell for breakfast because you were late for work. Taco Bell for dinner because you have no self respect. PGP.

Actual note on the break room fridge: “Do not haze the interns, this isn’t college and they aren’t pledges.” PGP.