Oh come on. What’s your average like per picture? Also, I always assume people with public accounts and 16 hashtags have 3 real friends and get most of their 200 likes from random people with nothing better to do
RT and Fav. “Bloggers” are our of control. One minute some girl is getting 120 likes on a vacation pic on Instagram and the next she thinks she needs to tell people what she’s doing and what they should be doing/wearing/eating. Anytime I see a blogger I instantly think of her as Girl.
He’s right, y’all, no one is impressed by your high percentage of whatever makes your IPA so “special” and even if you’re just drinking it to drink, they’re too dangerous and can ruin your weekend. Source: guy who drank too many at the pool Saturday, passed out at 3 and woke up at 11pm with a terrible sunburn.
Roommates are terrible and I’ve gone through life with about a 50/50 split of being best friends or enemies after living together. Still to be determined with my wife, but my dog is better than most people…and she still shits on the floor sometimes.
The best birth control is being around babies and/or baby stuff. Yeah, at some point I’m going to have to reproduce with a very young athletic woman so I can have a pro athlete child provide for me when I’m old and have no retirement money, but until then I’m anti baby.
He fancy shit chair is too spot on. We spent an entire weekend finding the perfect chair for our bedroom and now it’s been covered in shit for so long I can’t remember what color it is.
Another thing we did recently, that’s really improved all aspects of “bedroom life”, is removal of the TV. I’ve been sleeping better, reading more, and it’s amazing but women are actually more into you sexually when they get more than a grunt response while you’re watching the end of a game in bed.
Guy with the girl at his gym. Spend less time saying things like “team gains” and more time actually approaching women in an obviously perfect situation. You blew it.
8 speeches at a wedding? Hate to break it to you but the bride (and/or groom) are attention whores who can’t stand to think about the reception turning into a fun for all event where everyone is not focused on them. I’d give a speech, but make it so cringeworthy they regret ever asking.
Don’t live in a shitty Midwest city. I saw more butt cheeks than a strip club DJ at our friend’s pool on Saturday and Sunday. A pool shouldn’t be a quest, it’s a god given right everyone should have access to.
I agree, Rachel, hiking is the worst and I really don’t wanna see your Instagram story about it. Plus a friend just had a dog die while on a hike with him and that’s enough reason to hate anything in the world.
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When it goes from individual names to a number of likes…that’s he good stuff
Oh come on. What’s your average like per picture? Also, I always assume people with public accounts and 16 hashtags have 3 real friends and get most of their 200 likes from random people with nothing better to do
RT and Fav. “Bloggers” are our of control. One minute some girl is getting 120 likes on a vacation pic on Instagram and the next she thinks she needs to tell people what she’s doing and what they should be doing/wearing/eating. Anytime I see a blogger I instantly think of her as Girl.
He’s right, y’all, no one is impressed by your high percentage of whatever makes your IPA so “special” and even if you’re just drinking it to drink, they’re too dangerous and can ruin your weekend. Source: guy who drank too many at the pool Saturday, passed out at 3 and woke up at 11pm with a terrible sunburn.
Remember when Drake played a paralyzed kid on a hit teen show?
I believe this has already been discussed, but a dog is better than any and all roommates
Roommates are terrible and I’ve gone through life with about a 50/50 split of being best friends or enemies after living together. Still to be determined with my wife, but my dog is better than most people…and she still shits on the floor sometimes.
If you’re trying to say babies are better than or equal to puppies/dogs…you’re wrong
The best birth control is being around babies and/or baby stuff. Yeah, at some point I’m going to have to reproduce with a very young athletic woman so I can have a pro athlete child provide for me when I’m old and have no retirement money, but until then I’m anti baby.
He fancy shit chair is too spot on. We spent an entire weekend finding the perfect chair for our bedroom and now it’s been covered in shit for so long I can’t remember what color it is.
Another thing we did recently, that’s really improved all aspects of “bedroom life”, is removal of the TV. I’ve been sleeping better, reading more, and it’s amazing but women are actually more into you sexually when they get more than a grunt response while you’re watching the end of a game in bed.
Jealous of what exactly? You can workout without cliche terms and instagram posts
Hey congrats. Don’t let whatever sad, but true, thing Nived has to say bring you down. I hate that he’s always right.
Something douche bags say
Hey good easy reading mailbag for Tuesday, D Man.
Guy with the girl at his gym. Spend less time saying things like “team gains” and more time actually approaching women in an obviously perfect situation. You blew it.
8 speeches at a wedding? Hate to break it to you but the bride (and/or groom) are attention whores who can’t stand to think about the reception turning into a fun for all event where everyone is not focused on them. I’d give a speech, but make it so cringeworthy they regret ever asking.
Thanks for bringing that up. At least we set a record?
Only with your endorsement
Don’t live in a shitty Midwest city. I saw more butt cheeks than a strip club DJ at our friend’s pool on Saturday and Sunday. A pool shouldn’t be a quest, it’s a god given right everyone should have access to.
Anytime I head bonjour I think of saying in like Lt. Aldo Raine in Inglorious Basterds
I agree, Rachel, hiking is the worst and I really don’t wanna see your Instagram story about it. Plus a friend just had a dog die while on a hike with him and that’s enough reason to hate anything in the world.
Hey thanks for being a huge douche on Tuesday morning, fuck face