A Des Moines man tried to rob a Chipotle the day before Thanksgiving. Of course, before he attempted to make the robbery, he made sure to order his burrito first. According the the cashier, the man got in line, ordered a burrito to go, then told her he had a gun in his sweatshirt and for her to put the money from the register in the bag. Personally, I’m a fan of a little lettuce with my burrito as well. Rather than complying, the cashier fled to the back room of the store without giving the criminal any money. The man grabbed his bag, of course, and left.
Now, I have a few thoughts about Burritoheist 2016. First of all, I understand his plan about going the day before Thanksgiving since very few people are stuffing themselves with 1000 calorie burritos the day before they gorge themselves on turkey or steak or stuffing or any other preferred Thanksgiving treat. Fewer witnesses. However, that also means there is probably not much cash in the register, so I’m not sure what he thought the payoff would be. All he ended up getting was a $7 burrito, meaning it was probably chicken. Come on, man.
If you’re going to risk a felony, get something out of it. Obviously I don’t condone committing felonies, but when burritos are involved you can certainly make it worth your while. Don’t get chicken. At least get the chorizo or barbacoa. Second, why get one burrito? If you get caught, and he was probably on camera, you’re probably facing several years in prison. The only burritos you’re getting in prison are the ones you don’t want. At least get yourself a bag full of burritos so you can get your fill of Chipotle before going to the big house.
They haven’t found this idiot yet, but I’m guessing it won’t be long before they find the great burrito bandit. He deserves it for sure, but to be honest the bigger crime here is getting jail time for just one burrito. .
[via USA Today]