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My New Year’s Eve? I chilled hard in Traverse City, Michigan watching Michigan State get the piss kicked out of them by Alabama while sipping on some microbrews and eating bacon-wrapped dates. It was dope as hell and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, outside of maybe a night where Michigan State won.
But this dude? He had himself a night. He’s requested to remain anonymous, because I’m assuming he’s a young professional that doesn’t want his business life tainted by fire content.
I went to Nashville for New Years 2015 with my younger brother and a few of his friends. It was a last minute thing after we found a hotel room to cram 8 or 10 people in to and tickets to a bar that was hosting one of the many parties that were in Nashville that night. The city was busting at the seams from all the crowds in town for the Music City Bowl the nigth be-
fore, and the Lady Antellbellum show, and the general New Years festivities. We start walking to the bar from the hotel at about 8:00 pm in 27 degree weather. The walk took about 20 minutes and everyone was pretty frozen by the time we got there. It was an OK party, but no one got too rowdy and as soon as the ball dropped we split. A girl I knew from college had been texting and asking me to come join her and a few of her friends that were staying out later. She was cute and had always been into me in college, so I told her I would try to find her group after we got back to the hotel. We got back at around 12:20 AM, and everyone crashed except me.I set out to meet up with the girl’s group about 12:40 AM solo. They had been bar hopping all night, and I started looking for the last bar she told me she was at. It was past midnight, but I thought a drink or two with her couldn’t hurt, and then it would be back to the hotel around 1:30 or 2:00. Whats the worst that could happen? The bar district was so crowded on just the sidewalks and streets, and there were so many flashing lights of police cars and traffic lights and neon bar signs it was hard to tell what line or crowd was trying to get into any given bar, as well as discern the name of each bar with so many signs flashing everywhere. I peered into a few, trying to catch a glimps of anyone from their group that I recognized.
I wasn’t about to pay $20.00 cover charges at every bar on the strip to check them all. I found one that looked like the one she described, so I stepped up to the crowd in front and started easing my way in. As I peered over a few people in front of me I saw what I thought was the girl I was looking for inside near the bar. I tried to look over the two guys in front of me to get a better view. Apparently there was a disagreement between the two of them and it had turned into an arguement that was now turning into a physical altercation. Given the crowd noise and my preoccupation with trying to see over them, I failed to notice what was going on right in front of me. I tried to step between them to see if there was a separate line for people paying cover. One of them assumed that I was jumping in as backup for the other in what was turning into a shoving match. I never saw the punch coming, but he landed it dead center in what must of been a Mayweather-worthy shot, because the next thing I knew I was on the ground, and everything went black.
I came to with about 10 people looking down at me and a sharp pain on the back of my head. The next thing I know I am being loaded into an ambulance by 2 EMTs. I vaugly remember looking at my hand and seeing an alarming amount of blood on my palm and fingers. I looked up at the EMT and asked ” Is this all mine?” He gave me a weird look and said, “Yeah bro, thats all you.” Looking back on it I am fairly sure I had a concussion from the back of my head hitting the sidewalk, but apparently it went unnoticed because of the blood on my face. The EMTs peppered me with questions, but I couldn’t recall the hotel I was staying at or my social security number (my head was throbbing, and I was getting dizzier by the second). The EMTs must have shot me up with something to put me out, because I don’t remember anything beyond that point. Literally everythign just went to black. A nurse wakes me up in a Nashville hospital and hands me a white board with an address on it. She says “This is where you are. Someone needs to come discharge you.” I looked at my hand and most of the blood is gone but my face felt funny. I look at my phone and see that it is now 4:30 in the morning. I feel around and notice my nose is apparently stitched back together, and my Sperrys are sitting on the bed with me( I guess even hospitals won’t let you pass out with your shoes on). My oxford is ripped and has blood stains on the collar. My pants are also blood stained. I was no longer wearing the sweater I had on earlier. There was a mirror on the wall, and I could see that I was in pretty rough shape. I try to call my brother and his friends but they are all passed out and my phone battery is dangerously low. He finally answers and I try to explain where I am, but whatever the EMTs put in my system is still having an effect,and I am having trouble stringing words together. Apparently I got the message across be cause he shows up about 5:30 AM and I am discharged. I spent the whole next day on the couch doped up on about 1000 mg of advil. I have to give the doctor credit because he did a nice job with the stitches and nothing scarred. It took about 2 months for all of the bills to show up in the mail, and they make a $300.00 Uber ride sound like a bargain.
The total bill for the night is as follows.
Bar Cover Charge $20.00
Ambulance Ride $ 874.00
Hospital Stay $ 376.00
Doctor’s Bill $1,346.00
Man, remember when Evan complained about his not-even-$400 Uber charge from New Year’s Eve? Must be nice, Evan. Must be nice.
Oh, and he sent me a follow up email — “Never found the girl by the way.” Might be the biggest tragedy of all. .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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I had to stop reading and make this comment:
Everyone crashed at 12:40 am on a New Years Eve trip to Nashville? What a bunch of god damn NERDS. That dude should disavow his fucking lame ass brother.
I didn’t need to read any farther than the word Nashville to know he was going to have a horrible time no matter what. Nashville is the setting for what could be Things Girls Do After Graduation – Southern Edition.
It’s central time, so we tend to celebrate with everyone on Eastern time and again for central time an hour later. It’s only so much fun to watch a ball (or music note) drop!
Getting sucker punched is a horrible feeling.
I actually had something similar happen to me in college when I was visiting some fraternity brothers in Canada.
We had a long night at the bars, and three of us decided to make a late night McDonalds run. My Canadian buddy, a Japanese exchange student who was a fraternity brother up there, and myself walk into the place about 3 am (McDonalds evidently stay open late inside up there). We’re all joking around and making fun of each other as we go to order whatever foods will kill us the fastest. After we order, I make a quick stop in the bathroom for a puke & rally.
I walk out of the bathroom, and my Canadian buddy’s face is covered in blood. As I walk towards him asks in a concerned voice, “Hey man, is that your buddy?”
“Yeah, what the hell happ-“ I start to respond, before getting punched in the back of the head.
I turn around while putting my hands up, ready to fight whoever it was.
Bam, punched in the back of the head again. Start turning around again. Bam, 3rd guy hits me from the side. Turns out there were 5 guys (probably oil workers) all wearing steel toed boots, who proceeded to punch me from whatever way I’m not facing before kicking me repeatedly in the head once I’m down.
My buddies grab a taxi to take me to the hospital. I walk into the hospital where the nurses could not have cared less. They start laughing at me when I say I’m American and telling me how they “hope I have good insurance.”
Because of the repeated blows to the head, my fingers weren’t working well, so I couldn’t pull out my ID at the nurse’s request. She refused to help me, so I had to call over my buddy (also covered in blood) to get it out for me.
Then I waited about an hour before anyone saw me. During which time, I realized I couldn’t read the signs on the walls. I knew they said words, but I couldn’t read, which understandably freaked me out. When I tried to tell the nurse who walked by, she said I needed to “not yell at her” or she would have me arrested. By now I had been in the hospital for 3 hours and had seen 0 medical officials nor had a concussion test done – they never actually did one.
In hour 4 they finally got me an MRI, said “there was slight swelling but no major damage – drink lots of water.”
And that was all they told me, and gave me no pain meds, nor ever actually looked at any of the cuts or lumps on my head.
After that they refused to send the bill to my insurance, and instead tried to repo stuff at the fraternity house I had stayed in for a total of a week.
I guess what I’m saying is Canada sucks and I’ll be damned if they’re ever going to get that $1500 from me.
Holy novel, Batman
tl;dr version: got jumped, canadian healthcare sucked, they’re never getting my money
Remember, kids, socialism is never the answer. Fuck you Canada.
BAAAM! POOOW! DISSERTATION!
No insurance, not even obamacare? Pretty sure I could have gotten out of this for a $75 ER co-pay and about 10% of that those other charges.
I got sucker punched a few years back and ended up getting 18 stitches. My insurance covered the initial ER visit, as well as the visiting plastic surgeon I requested. However, they didn’t touch the ambulance (it was a police ambulance). Apparently in my County, police ambulances aren’t covered, hospital ambulances are partially covered, and fire department ambulances are free regardless of insurance. Moral of the story, I had to pony up ~$1100.
Some states have as low as a 3 year statue of limitations on that.
I never do this, but it’s statute.
This happened to my husband… on our wedding night. Wrong place, wrong time.
You sucker punched your own husband? Granted he didn’t get the Presidential Suite, but come one.
Well you know, I’ve just always wanted to celebrate my nuptials looking like Sissy Spacek on Prom night.
If he had just gotten laid I would’ve said worth it..poor guy..