Things Girls Do After Graduation: Plan A Bachelorette Party

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Things Girls Do After Graduation: Plan A Bachelorette Party

The following is an iMessage conversation that transpired regarding Caroline’s looming bachelorette party that has yet to be planned amidst her not making a decision over who the Maid of Honor will be in her wedding.

Katie: Hiiiiiiiiiiii

Girl: Hey girllllllllll

Katie: Sooooooo, question.

Girl: uh-oh

Katie: Do you know what the plan is for Caroline’s bachelorette party?

Girl: Ugh, I was JUST thinking about that

Katie: Like… is anything planned?

Girl: Um considering she has yet to name anyone maid of freaking honor, I don’t think there’s anything planned…

Katie: Okay well lez be honest, it’s going to be one of us

*Girl rolls her eyes knowing it will be her*

Girl: It’s, like, probs going to be you tbh

Katie: …should we just plan it since no one else is going to?

Girl: Well, like, I know she wants to do it at her dad’s timeshare in cabo

Katie: well duh, where else would we do it?

Girl: Who do you think we need to invite?

Katie: Well there’s you, me, alex (ugh), Victoria, Megan, Sarah, Jane, Claire, Ellie, Charlotte, Sophie, Alana, Kate, Jessica, Jenny, Gabby, and then like three of her weird friends from college that I’m probably forgetting.

Girl: Oh, great, because it’s so fucking easy to find a reservation for twenty girls in Cabo at this time of year.

Katie: Ughhhhhhhhhh

Girl: Isn’t there just someone we can hire to do this for us?

Katie: srsly

Girl: If you want to talk to her dad about staying at his place, I’ll call around and see where we can get rezzies for everything

Katie: Okay, that’s fine with me. Idk even where to start with what the hell we should do when we get there.

Girl: Is Alex going to be all weird about trying to do yoga classes and stuff? If mama’s on vaca, mama ain’t working out.

Katie: lolol, so bad. I bet she spends the entire time texting you-know-who like last time.

Girl: *eye-roll emoji*

Katie: Let’s send John one of those questionnaire thingys where we see if their answers match.

Girl: Hahaha okay I’ll send him the same one we sent Finn before your bachelorette party. Do we need to think about getting personalized stuff beforehand or do we just buy a bunh of penis straws?

Katie: We need, like, all penis everything because Caroline is the most inappropriate out of all of us *eggplant emoji*

Girl: I would LOVE to see her with a penis crown on, if not only to see her with a dick on her head.

Katie: Hahahahahaha, stopppppppp. You’re sooooo baddddddddddd.

Girl: Do you know which weekend John is doing his bachelorette party?

Katie: I think they’re doing a golf trip after Labor Day?

Girl: Ugh, idk. I’ll ask Todd. We should do it a different weekend than that so we can have a girl’s weekend while they’re gone.

Katie: Uh, duh, we might as well make a reservation for sushi like right now.

Girl: I’m going to make Todd buy me something at Nordies out of guilt when he gets back

Katie: Oh, girl, I like where your head’s at!

Girl: *hairflip emoji*

Katie: Okay, let’s just figure out a date and send out the invites, like, asap.

Girl: I have this Etsy store bookmarked that has the PERFECT invites.

Katie: lol, of course you do

Girl: There’s lingerie on each of them, which reminds me, we need to buy her some for her and John’s wedding night

Katie: Ugh, can I just regift mine? I think I still have the tags on them because I could not have pulled them off.

Girl: So you were, like, SO skinny at your wedding. I was so jelly of how ano you looked. Your arms were twigs, it was amaze.

Katie: Speaking of, I need to get back on my wedding diet if we’re going to be in bikinis soon. Alex will probably try to instagram photos of us looking horrible.

Girl: Two can play at that game.

Katie: Alright, well I’m off to spin class but I’ll start making a spreadsheet where we can put everyone’s flight times and contact info.

Girl: Well look at you, all organized and official.

Katie: What can I say? I’m a pro.

Girl: Okay, I’ll talk to Todd and we’ll figure all this shit out.

Katie: Love ya, mean it.

Girl: *kiss face emoji*

*Exits iMessage, begins to text Todd*

Girl: Okay, well Katie definitely thinks she’s the maid of honor.

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram).

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