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It’s no secret that being a sports fan in D.C. can be trying at the best of times. After a while of rooting for Washington teams, you start to get used to the promising start to the season, bold confident statements by the head coach, heart-attack inducing last periods/quarters, and inevitable disappointment. You’re not really a D.C. sports fan unless you embrace the suck and reserve the right to bitch and moan about yet another year of mediocrity and failure with your fellow fans.
Despite our legendary failure as a sports franchise city, our one small glimmer of hope is the Capitals, or “the Caps.” Nothing brings this city together quite like a Caps hot streak. I’ve lived here long enough to have experienced several of them. When they’re on, they’re really on, and it’s all anyone can talk about. Bosses let everyone off early, there are happy hour specials galore, and everyone is Rocking the Red. This year, they’ve been on. They finished first in their division and won the President’s Cup for most points scored in the regular season for the second year in a row.
Sadly, the Caps have a grand tradition of getting to the playoff rounds and choking in a spectacular fashion. Please see our current impressive record of exactly one Stanley Cup appearance and subsequent loss in franchise history. In a town where a bad day at work could mean we accidentally nuke China, stress levels are already at a pretty constant high without the added pressure of watching our only truly viable sports team (sorry, Nats, I still love you) dash our hopes and dreams yet another year in a row.
The Caps are very aware of the anxiety they can inspire, so this year they’re trying to do something to combat the inevitable cardiac event-inducing stress levels that their post-season will likely induce. They’re hosting free yoga sessions on the rink at their Arlington practice facility every morning that there’s a playoff game. The Caps are billing the yoga sessions as a way to “fight playoff stress,” but also just to get the fans involved. All of the sessions are free and you just have to sign up in advance on the website.
Honestly, I think this is fucking brilliant. I have a completely untested hypothesis based on absolutely no data or evidence that the blood pressure of any sports fan increases by at least 25-50% during playoff season. What better way to manage your sports-induced stress than yoga in your favorite team’s practice facility with a bunch of other people who are just as stressed out as you are? We should expand this to more sports and include the regular season. Think how many brawls and riots could be stopped before they even started if all of the fans just did yoga beforehand! Patriots fans might even become considerate, productive citizens!
Even though the Caps finished first in their division this year, history and experience would suggest this post-season will be one of the most stressful and disappointing yet for fans. Obviously, I still plan on becoming overly emotionally invested in their success for the next few weeks to the point of obsession. I can’t hit up the 6:30 a.m. free yoga time because of my work schedule, but if you want to send along some soothing mantras that I can repeat when we start falling behind haflway through the second period, I’d really appreciate it. Happy playoff season! C-A-P-S CAPS CAPS CAPS! .
[via The Washingtonian]
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