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Recently, I’ve found myself rendezvousing with a new man. He’s fantastic and an all-around amazing guy, but the MFer is insanely smart and it presents some challenges. I first realized what I had gotten myself into when he sent grammatical edits back in response to my sexts.
I’ve never been in a relationship where I’ve felt mentally inadequate compared to my partner. If anything, it’s always been the opposite where I’ve been the brains and could use that to my advantage. But now, it’s been one instance after another of me realizing how he is intellectually out of my league. This change in pace has me feeling some kind of way, and I’m not sure how to handle it.
The problem is, it’s not like he’s excelling in one area alone: the boy is well-rounded. Not only does he have a head for numbers, he’ll spout off film directors and music producers I’ve never heard of, explain the complexities of almost any sport with ease, and the list could go on. He is literally smarter than me in every way possible. I voiced this opinion to a friend and she assured me there must be SOMETHING I know more about. The thought was genuine, but unless we’re going head to head on knowledge of Lilly Pulitzer prints, or how to best organize Pinterest boards, he blows me out of the water every time.
I find myself trying to scrape the bottom of the barrel to prove that I’m not just some dumb broad who can’t keep up. I tried to access my SAT, and AP scores from years ago on College Board to have some proof that I could hold my own. I scoured the internet looking for a peer-reviewed article I got published in a journal while in college. I read and re-read the news in the hope I can contribute in a conversation about politics. I even make mental notes not to bring up the dumb shit that I really like (i.e. The Kardashians) so I don’t seem too frivolous.
Even describing what we do to others makes me look like an idiot. While he explains his role in finance, statistics, and risk management, I have to follow up with “I design stuff in Photoshop.” I’m sure friends and the general public look on with confusion as to why he’s settled down so far below him on the IQ spectrum.
I once asked him to proofread a piece that I had written, and I received a document back with more red lines and changes than I could count. It was demoralizing in the biggest way, but I couldn’t even be mad because everything he had edited was valid. One of the sentences he crossed out even included a nice little editorial note: “You’re just repeating the same thing here and you just sound really bitchy.”
It’s not all feelings of inadequacy though. There are also some huge benefits. Any bar trivia team we participate in has a strong presence when he’s contributing. If I don’t understand something, I have a walking encyclopedia to offer an explanation. I’m never worrying about explaining a reference because chances are he knows more about it than me. While he may have to dumb things down, I sure as hell never have to.
In the end, I appreciate the push to be better. I’m always going to be clamoring to keep up, but it’s challenging me to not be so complacent. I’ve had to start trying again. Gone are the days of coming home from work and watching The Hills until it’s time for bed. Instead, I listen to podcasts he’s suggested, I read commentary on Twitter instead of my usual curated meme bullshit, I fine tune my mind instead of filling it with garbage. In a very Pygmalion fashion, I am making the necessary changes to run with the elite.
Relationships, in general, are hard but it turns out relationships with savants are even harder. Keep me and my little lady brain in your thoughts and prayers. .
Image via YouTube
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Kell
future soccer mom of America (AKA I drive a Volvo.) Miracle is my favorite movie and it should be yours too.
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Grammatical edits during sexting doesn’t make you intellectually superior… It makes you an asshole.
Or gay, don’t forget gay
Would that be a problem…?
It would be for her.
i was going to say the same thing. like, who does that?
I mean we can fix this problem pretty quickly… Sup?
Hey now
“If you’re always the smartest person in the room, it’s probably because the room is empty…and padded” – Dystopian Fortune Cookie
Put it this way, if you’re as far below the IQ spectrum to him as you say you are and you say he’s a master in risk management and becoming financially risk averse using statistics, I’d argue that he’s not as intelligent as you think and as he himself thinks. He’d essentially be risking his long term intelligence reserves due to dumbing things down and using less parts of his brain which is extremely risky and unintelligent. I mean I’m only the Frank Zappa of this comment section, basically so what do I know? I’m only a god damn genius with a sense of humor that’s keeping me alive in a watered-up world lol
Not necessarily. “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough” – Albert “motherfuckin” Einstein. Simply put, him explaining things by “dumbing them down” makes him smarter by knowing the concept fully.
Agreed, no argument there. From the tone of her article, it seems that he dumbs things down and explains things in relative terms with a side of condescension and behind that condescension is ego which leads to impulse and allows emotion to influence logical decision making
If I had to pick 3 living people to sit down and have a convo with over a beer, one would be Donald Trump, two would be Jon Daly, and three would be you
I am honored and I would be so down for that
No drugs. No Alcohol. No Cigs. If you are ever in S. FL and want to golf, just @ me
I live my life by that Einstein quote
Intelligence is sexy in a partner, but he kinda sounds like a douche by correcting your sexts.
Get glasses. Ya look smart, ya feel smart.
Except for Duda and his fake lenses. Can see through that shtick 100 yards out.
Question to all the guy readers: how long would you stick out a relationship where she’s the significantly smarter one? (Working with two ivy degrees over here)
Forever because instead of fighting in public inside of a Home Depot about who forgot to pay the cable bill this month or who Facebook liked someone else they dated in college late at night, we can fight in public inside of a Home Depot about neural networks, quantum physics, and original art that appreciates in value better than actual currencies!
Sup?
Depends what those degrees say on them. Sociology and gender studies, for example, you’re one step below a lottery winner that squandered millions because that lottery winner stimulated the hell out of the economy.
Let’s find out…for science.
– the guy who took the full ride to the state school instead.
My dad has a a Bachelor degree and works in a hardware store while my mother is VP of a very large Candy company. There is a very large gap in knowledge there and they have been married 30 years. I don’t think it’s a huge deal, of course I am also in two masters programs at the moment so it may just be a weird thing in my family that we like strong, and driven women.
That knowledge gap is huge. How many things can your dad build and fix while your mom simply markets teeth rotting trash to low income kids? smh.
Lol, she ran a non-profit charity before this, so good job playing your moral trump card. A job is a job dumbass, if you haven’t figured out people work jobs to simply put food on the table, despite whether on not they like them, than your username truly checks out.
I’m gonna ignore this little comment section feud and continue simply picturing your mom being the head of the Sweetums foundation in Parks & Rec right now
You have very little chill I’ve noticed.
He’s working on two post grad degrees, guy must be stressed and undersexed.
*Then. So much for the Ivy Leagues.
I simply said I was working simultaneously on two postgrad degrees, not Ivy League. But I simply made a point that relationships can make it despite varying levels of intelligence. And good catch on my grammatical mistake, for some reason on iPads the app won’t let me scroll my comment if it’s past a certain length.
Everyone, including brilliant people, have interests that would be considered stupid, so don’t ever feel ashamed of and hide something you’re interested in.
“when he sent grammatical edits back in response to my sexts”
Have you ever heard of a subreddit called /r/iamverysmart? It sounds like he would fit right in.
If you make a Pygmalion reference in a PGP article, I think whatever he’s doing to groom you into someone on his level is probably working.