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The way I see it, you really only have three options this weekend. Although, now that I’m thinking about it, they are the same three options you have every weekend. This weekend is obviously a little bit different. It’s spookier. Ghoulier. More fun. Or at least it’s supposed to be.
Everyone is dressed up in a costume that they more than likely put together day-of from stuff they found in their storage room and then there’s probably one or two single guys in your group that refused to dress up because they’re dickheads.
Everyone has their own definition of fun, and what I find enjoyable is certainly not representative of the rest of the world. The three options that I’m about to lay out for you should be obvious, although if you’re fortunate enough to get on a trolley this upcoming weekend then good for you. That trumps all of these options.
Option 1: Go to a bar. This is my least favorite course of action because Halloween is not unlike New Years Eve. It gets A LOT of hype and it rarely lives up to expectations that people put on it. If you want to be at a bar for Halloween, you’re either waiting in line for thirty or forty minutes or you were forced by management to buy an overpriced ticket that gets you one or two watered down “spooky” drinks.
Sidenote: has everyone noticed that the word spooky is getting a lot of play this year? It’s strange.
Anyway, I would say that this weekend would be as good a time as any to avoid the bar scene. If you, your significant other, or one of your friends just can’t stand the thought of not being at a bar for Halloween shenanigans, I would highly suggest bringing a winter jacket because you’re likely to catch a cold if you just wear your costume out.
Option 2. The house or apartment party. This is my number one choice because I don’t like spending money on drinks and my boy scout costume is going to get a lot more compliments inside of a well-lit kitchen (because everyone hangs out in the kitchen at house parties) than standing at a bar with no room to move and orange tinted lighting. The house party does not come without faults, though. Again, I’d like to stress that Halloween is very similar to NYE. You’ll more than likely be entering the first party of the night with a group. Immediately there will be descension.
Whispers from the corner of the living room that there’s another party in another part of town with better people, better booze, and better drugs. You have to ignore these whispers because once you give in to a suggestion that you hit another party the floodgates open. A few hours into this you’ll realize that there’s always another party. Walk in, hear about another party, leave in an Uber to go to it. Rinse, wash, repeat.
This will go on until the wee hours of the morning and you’ll check your gmail account to find that you spent more than you would have at a bar on Ubers alone. If you’re going to a house party, just fucking stay there. I’ll allow one move to a different party but that’s it. After that, you have to stay where you are. Don’t do this for me. Do it for your wallet, your Uber rating, and the almost ironclad promise that any party your shitbag friends are clamoring to go to is not as good as they say it is.
Option 3. It lies between the bar and the party. It’s not the best option because you’ll simultaneously love and hate yourself for choosing this one. Instead of getting dressed up, you’re going straight to the couch. There’s still college football on and can you imagine how quickly you’ll be able to get a Postmates delivery with everyone else out and about getting hammered drunk? I can’t blame anyone for choosing couch over a Halloween party or a trip to the bar in a costume.
It’s downright noble to stay in this weekend, but I wouldn’t be able to live it down if I didn’t at least put a happy face on and give it the old college try. At some point, I’ll start staying in on the weekend before Halloween, but it won’t be this year. I wish you the best of luck this upcoming weekend, and I beg of all of you to please not dress up as something that is going to get your ass kicked. It’s time to get spooky drunk. Let’s go. .
Image via YouTube
Check out this Halloween prank video from our friends at Natty Light. You have to think someone took a swing at him and they edited it out.
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jduda@grandex.co
90’s theme party at my place this weekend. Got 100 jello shots, 2 handles of vodka, a Super NES Classic and a 300+ song playlist on Spotify. It’s about to get weird.
My friend preordered the new Mario and we’re playing it on the big screen tonight. Nerds unite
I wish. I’ve had this thing for a few weeks and have had no time to play it. Adulting is time consuming.
Halloween is the hardest holiday to pick up girls. Always in a huge group. Are they hot under all that makeup? Are they thinner/bigger than they seem? So many variables.
Doesn’t matter, had sex
Speaking of last minute costumes….anyone got an ideas?
Go all in on Nived’s costume, be Bojack. Get a horse head, wear a sweater with a jacket, get drunk and don’t give a fuck about anyone.
That’s usually my plan with/without a horse head and sweater.
Clark Kent?
Cool Cat, One of the Three Blind Mice.
Jared Kushner.
scarecrow, flannel and jeans plus a one dollar straw hat and you’re golden. you can also take a christmas wreath and red bedsheet and instantly turn into a roman. Or you can dress up as a human when in real life you’re just a dolphin from the Internet
Got a plastic gavel and a takeout menu and am going as Law and Order. You’re more than welcome to steal.
I hope nobody judges you for wearing that…. i’ll see myself out
*shoots finger guns at you for 37 minutes*
I’m going as Joanna from office space. House party then the bar across the street. I love easy Halloween plans
Do you have more than 15 pieces of flair?
Totally agree with trying to party hop. Much bigger fan of going to one party and getting blacked out there
Option 4: Get all your friends to dress up and go to brunch where you can completely take over the place because everyone is waiting til that night to go out in their costumes. Then by the time you hit the bars or house parties that night you have a nice warm alcohol blanket so you don’t really care about standing in lines or walking farther than you normally would.
Damnit Johnny D you got me to agree with one of your takes. Halloween, NYE, etc always way overhyped. If it’s overhyped, I want to be at a house party
I got roped into a Halloween event at a bar in SF and I’m not very excited. Would much rather stay on my couch watching Stranger Things
Sup
Currently trying to decide between a party trolley and a house party…after reading this article I’ve never felt more fortunate
Going back to college for the weekend.
Best Halloween party I’ve ever gone to was a Drunk History Halloween though. It was awesome.
Thanks for the suggestion. Absolutely doing this next year.