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Much like so-called “preppers” who prepare for the eventual downfall of organized society, binge-watchers around the nation are gathering supplies to hunker down for a weekend-long viewing party for the season three premiere of House of Cards on Friday, February 27. House of Cards is one of the greatest dramas of all time and the best way to honor that legacy is by devoting an entire weekend to watching the new season. If you consider yourself a true House of Cards fan, then you should be doing the same by using the following tips to create the perfect viewing experience.
Decide On A Date And Time
It may not seem important now, but the date on which you decide to start your marathon may be one of the most important decisions you make. Do you want to start it Friday after work? Choose carefully, because you likely won’t finish all the episodes before passing out. I subscribe to the strategy of using Friday to get unnecessarily drunk at happy hour, followed by an early bedtime so you can wake up by 9 a.m. on Saturday to begin the show. This allows you to drink on Friday, get as many shows in as possible on Saturday, and then finish off any leftovers (food, drink, and episodes) on Sunday.
Pick A Location
The location at which you will follow Frank Underwood’s rise to power should be based on three factors. First and foremost is TV quality. Which of your friends has the best TV? Go to that person’s place. It’s fair to assume your friend has Netflix if he or she is joining in on the binge, but if for some reason your friend doesn’t, be generous and share your password. You can always change it later. The second thing to consider is seating. I strongly discourage you from watching on a bed because it’s too easy to fall asleep and get bed sores (definitely not speaking from personal experience). Find a friend with a comfy couch that’s spacious enough to accommodate every member of the viewing party. The last factor to consider is accessibility to food and drink. Watch somewhere where there is plenty of space to eat and drink comfortably.
Get Plenty Of Booze
A TV show marathon is something you definitely want to be drunk for. You should plan accordingly and ensure you have plenty of alcohol to last you through the entire day. However, I warn you to not get too drunk. Last year for the second season, two of my friends blacked out for episodes one through three and we had to re-watch those episodes later in the evening once they started asking when Zoe Barnes was going to show up again. Moral of the story? Stick to beer.
Eat The Right Food
Ribs: less for Frank Underwood and more in honor of Freddy’s BBQ Joint going under. For the vegetarians and vegans out there: Frank Underwood killed in pursuit of his goals, so don’t let your beliefs stop you from appropriately celebrating the release of season three.
Invite The Right People
The people with whom you watch the new season have the ability to make or break your weekend. Do you want someone who talks a big game about the marathon but gets bored at episode six and suggests doing something else? Hell no. Do you want someone who is going to fall asleep once he or she’s had a few too many beers? Of course not. Do you want someone who is going to talk incessantly so you have to pause and rewind more than a couple times an episode? Screw that. Choose your viewing-mates carefully. If you manage to select a dream team of binge-watchers, you have a shot at going down in the annals of Netflix history. Or whatever..
Image via Netflix
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You forgot to mention about staying away from social media until you finish the season. You don’t want some asshat, who finished the season before you, posting about it and ruining everything.
I will track down and murder anyone that shares spoilers here.
If anyone spoils Season 3 for me, I’m going to push them in front of an oncoming train.
I agree. If it gets ruined for me, I will make them fall in love with me by reading them their favorite books, and being super hot. Then I will become a lesbian, make them chase me into the woods and brick them to death.
I feel like you’re speaking directly to me. Cannot wait for saturday.
Designated snack and sex breaks are also a must. Girls want that FU for some reason.