======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Well, it was a long, winding road full of twists, turns, sunshine, and rain, but we finally made it. The last person in my group of friends from college is graduating today, and we couldn’t be happier for her. We’re so happy, in fact, that we all took it upon ourselves to show up to the occasion in some fashion or another.
That’s right. Charlie’s making his way back to the old Alma Mater for one last ride. I’ve been back before. Actually, I’ve probably been back to my college town more times as a postgrad than I should have—probably because some of my friends still live there, but hey. It’s been a fun time.
This time’s different though. It feels like there’s more weight added to it. Maybe it’s because the whole crew is finally graduated and fully employed. Maybe it’s because the people who traditionally have been single (read: me) are actually in a relationship now. Either way, we’ve made this trip enough times over the past few years, and in that time, we’ve all changed in one way or another.
The funny thing about going to your college town after changing and growing is that your expectations stay the same, despite the fact that you know they’re unrealistic. This is what I’m talking about.
The Drive Down
Expectations: Loud music. We’re blasting everything from Springsteen to Chance The Rapper to Blink 182 to Tom Jones. Everything under the sun, nothing is off limits. We reminisce on old times at our favorite bars and toss on some of the old bangers to build the excitement.
Reality: Well, none of us really have cars anymore, so we rented one and had some trouble figuring out the aux cord. Ken puts on an audiobook about pirates to pass the time, until there’s a scratch on the CD and we had to listen to local radio for a while there until we got it right.
The Campus
Expectations: Psh, I’m only two years older than a senior in college. I basically blend in with these motherfuckers. I can walk to all of my old classes, check out the old frat house, and take some pics with the landmarks, all in a day’s work. It’s like nothing has changed.
Reality: I’m not going to the actual campus. No matter how many times I tell myself I’m going to do it, I never have, and I probably only will if I’m taking Lila down here.
The Town
Expectations: Damn, there’s so much nostalgia down here. We’re going to do all the same stuff we used to, really shooting that nostalgia right into our veins. Well, everything except for donate plasma. *shudders*
Reality: Huh. This is way smaller than I remembered. The walk from Shakespeare’s to Piano is only, like, 5 minutes. Also, why did I think there was so much to do here. It’s literally all bars and, like, two music venues. I guess that would be a ton of fun if I were in college, but damn.
The Bars
Expectations: Holy shit. Hoooooooly shit. These drink specials are insane. The booze here is basically free! We’re going to hit all our favorite spots, see all our old bartenders, and get absolutely hammered with the random people we had classes with back in the day.
Reality: So, uh, I get that being in a college town implies that there are going to be people with fake IDs at the bar. But who the fuck are these children at the bar? Why are they able to drink more than me? Plus, this booze is terrible. It’s like drinking tequila from a bottle that they found on the ground outside of a CVS Pharmacy. I miss my girlfriend.
The Drunk Food
Expectation: “Oh shit, I used to eat this shit all the time!”
Reality: “Oh shit, I used to eat this shit all the time???”
The Next Day
Expectation: Alright, I know I can’t drink like I used to. I’ll probably have a hangover come Sunday, but that’s nothing I’m not used to. In fact, I usually wake up with a hangover on Sundays. This should be fine.
Reality: Kill me. I’m serious. Kill me. Just do it, or else this hangover will take me. .
Image via YouTube
Respond
Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
@therescharlie
@herescharlie
herescharlie
Wanting to go back to your fraternity house but they are kicked off campus. PGP
RT
I feel this
I feel like this is something going to happen more and more often in the future the way things are looking. Mine is sitting pretty at 5 years.
2 years older than a senior? Ha! I wish
The Women:
Expectations- can’t wait to finally seal the deal with that girl I’ve always had a thing for. Or pickup some hot sorority girl.
Reality: wow I don’t recognize a single girl in here and this girl I’m talking too was in 3rd grade when I was a student here. Let’s get the hell out of here
Who you go with makes or breaks your alma mater trip.
Does CoMo still have Trops? I dated a guy who went to Mizzou and trops was the greatest thing about that place. Big fan of the location with the drive thru
Oh yeah they do. Silver bullet and tiger paw FTW
Go back to UF every year for either the homecoming game or the game against Mizzou (I grew up in St Louis and my brother is a tiger.) Typically it’s nothing to over the top but this past year I was coming off a promotion so I ended up blowing $300 on people I’ve never met before, $200 on myself and my buddies, and $50 on the jukebox. Woke up with the second worse hangover of my life and puked three times on the drive to the airport. 100% worth it, can’t wait to do it again this fall.
The Drive Down: NPR and Nights Rewatch podcasts. Fiance pointing out every single hawk she sees on I-70
The Campus: Wedding Reception at Alumni Center. Ran into old fraternity cook I was a dick to. Turns out he’s the bride’s uncle. Whoops.
The Town: How did I think this was a big city?
The Bars: The old people bar in the ‘Ville with my friend who still sells pot and his mom.
Drunk Food: Everything closes in Kansas at like 2. Hotel pantry snacks. Fuck.
Those peregrine falcons are ducking majestic though.
Last time I was in the ville I just got pissed off at how crowded it was.
I’ve found it’s best to always have low expectations.
MIZ! Was just back for homecoming. You know you missed some good ole gumbys or el rancho (heartburn just thinking about it) for drunk food
Unless there is a really good football game and I have killer seats, I see no real need to ever set foot on my college campus. Don’t know why people want to go back when the quality of life post college is so much better. Best of luck though.