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The following is a transcript of emails shared during business hours between Todd and his friends on Thursday, March 9, 2017 regarding a guy’s trip.
To: trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, ben4531@gmail.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: Boy’s Trip
Alright, boys. The time has come. It’s been a few months since John’s bachelor party and I’ve got the itch. I don’t care if it’s in April, May, or August, I just need something to look forward to.
A brief list of possible ideas: my parents’ lakehouse, Kiawah (again), Vegas, Scottsdale, Indy 500. Let me know your thoughts and let’s knock something out of the park.
To: trip@chasebank.com, ben4531@gmail.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, todd@conservefinance.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: Boy’s Trip
So, uhhhhh, someone went as far as humanly possible to avoid saying the words… KENTUCKY DERBY. Someone have some residual scaries from last year?
To: ben4531@gmail.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, todd@conservefinance.com, john@chasebank.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: Boy’s Trip
I can ask my dad about his house again but I’m still up shit creek without a paddle after the whole fireworks debacle over John’s bach.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
Yeah, let’s avoid that place for the foreseeable future. I mean, we can do Derby again if people are down. It’s just a little late in the game to get round two planned considering probably every house in Louisville is rented out.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
You guys haven’t met her yet but I’ve been seeing this girl who’s actually from Louisville and I’m already planning on going.
Todd – you trying to plan a bachelor party without telling us right now or what?
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
You sandbagging son of a bitch. Actually, that applies to both of you.
Todd – Let’s fuck up Derby again.
Spencer – Pics, or at the very least, an Instagram handle.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
Oh, look, you boys are going to include the rest of us on your Derby boy’s trip this year. That’s nice of you.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
Don’t get too excited, I’m still hungover from last year and Todd will probably barely drink considering he hooked up with that Claire chick last year and refuses to tell anyone about it.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
I did not hook up with anyone last year. Wait, have we decided on Derby or something? I was looking for some golf in my life, or a pool at the very least.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, todd@conservefinance.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
DERBY.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, john@chasebank.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
DERBY.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
DERBYYYYYYYYYYY.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
Alright, fine. Since Derby isn’t an inherently guys-only event, what are we all telling our girlfriends/wives/fiancees/whatevers about it so they don’t come?
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
Well, I mean, I’m staying at my girlfriend’s place so I don’t really know if it would be right for me to tell her not to come, Todd. That’s fucked up, man.
Honestly, everyone can probably stay there but it’s going to be a packed house so it’s going to be a sleeping-on-the-couch situation.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
This is why we can’t have nice things, Todd. The only person I’m worried about telling their SO is you. Sack up and let us know how it goes.
BTW, I just looked up flights and you can go direct for just over $400 if you book right now.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
BOOKED.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKED.
P.S. I also just told Katie and her first reaction was, “Todd’s going to have fun explaining this one.”
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
[jack-off-motion.gif]
The only reason Katie doesn’t care that you’re leaving town is because she hates you, Finn. Todd, let me know when you break the news so I know when to tell Caroline. We’re in the same boat. #BandOfBrothers
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, john@chasebank.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
I’ll tell her this weekend, you fucks.
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, todd@conservefinance.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
Hey, uhhhhh, Todd… you going to make it a round 2 with Claire this year or what?
To: ben4531@gmail.com, stew1992@hotmail.com, finn@northwesttrust.com, trip@chasebank.com, spencer@sfaholdings.com, john@chasebank.com, trip@chasebank.com, john@chasebank.com, finn@northwesttrust.com
cc: [blank]
Subject: re: re: re: re: re: re: Boy’s Trip
Fuck off. .
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
defriewf
will@grandex.co
Good to see all of Todd’s friends know he is a enormous vagine
This gives me hope that it will end. Also I’m in love with Katie
You’re telling me these guys brought up the idea AND booked a guys trip in only one business day? Sounds iffy. Maybe I need more decisive friends.
My group of friends has found that there needs to be 1-2 trigger pullers. Once they book something, everyone else just falls in line
Frankly, Claire deserves better than Todd.
#TeamClaire
“Wimpy Todd can’t even plan his own boys trip. Sad!”
via Twitter for Android
“Wimpy Todd” is the greatest Trump nickname ever.
On another note, I was waiting for someone to fuck up and put Girl’s email address in the [c.c.] and blow the lid on this.
Three Words: Blind Carbon Copy.
I respect the hell out of John for sticking with Todd on this one. Can’t wait for Girl to read these emails on the iPad as she’s sitting at home doing nothing and probably hooked Todd’s email up somehow. Derby sounds fun though, tbh.
Girl will see the emails and tell Todd her and her friends are joining them, whether they like it or not.
Forget Christmas, Derby is the most wonderful time of the year.
Is the mystery GF Claire?
Oh fuck. That would be a huge blow for all those on #teamClaire.
DeFries you beautiful bastard.
I definitely read this in a Schmidt voice
Just fist pumped in the air when I saw this! GIRL is going to find a way for all the ladies to crash this little trip. Calling it now.
Oh PLEASE let them walk in on Todd with Claire there. I need this in my life.
Girl wouldn’t break up with Todd even if he did cheat, she’d just find ways to make his life even more miserable.
conducting this chain on work emails is a big mistake.
Yeah, I mean, there’s plenty of shit to gripe about that the company can by all means monitor anyway, but email is like begging somebody to find your (e)paper trail. Maybe their SOs don’t track work email like Girl seems to do with the rest of Todd’s accounts?