Alright, folks. Now that JoJo has given roses to her final four dudes on this season of The Bachelorette, things are getting “serious.” This generally means the episodes have less ridiculous antics and more conversations about feelings and other things I don’t give a shit about. For those of you who are new to Bachelor Nation, during last season of The Bachelor we upped the viewing ante during the last few episodes of the season by playing Hometown Date Bingo. It’s basically an excuse to get even drunker than usual, talk shit to your friends, and give you something to root for during this episode.
Here’s how it works. Click here – this will take you to your bingo board. When you click, you’ll get a randomly generated card. You can print the card out, or play on your computer, phone, or tablet – whatever floats your boat. Hell, print out a bunch of cards – if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying. Each square will have an event that is almost certain to transpire during JoJo’s interactions with the dude’s families. I’ll be live tweeting from @CrickWatsonMD using #BacheloretteBingo, so follow along and I’ll tweet when things happen. Unfortunately for you West Coasters, I’m on Eastern time, so tough titties there.
When you get a bingo (five across, down, or diagonal – none of that cluster or four corners witchcraft), yell BINGO, finish your drink, tell your friends to eat shit, and tweet a picture of your winning board before you put that motherfucker in a place of honor on your fridge. The winners will receive some Internet notoriety, the respect and admiration of yours truly, and hopefully a solid buzz.
For shits and giggles, here are all the possible squares.
— JoJo cries
— “JoJo fits in with my family!”
— “I’m in love with JoJo!”
— JoJo asks family about dude’s ex
— JoJo meets a grandparent
— Dude cries
— Dude takes JoJo to his job
— Dude gives JoJo a letter, poem, or original song
— Family member hits on JoJo
— Family member is skeptical of The Bachelorette
— Family member brings up JoJo’s hotness
— Family member kisses JoJo on the cheek
— Family member drinking hard liquor
— Crying mom
— Bangable mom
— Visibly intoxicated family member
— Embarassing childhood photo
— Shit-talking Aaron Rodgers
— Visible photo of Aaron Rodgers
— Noticeable haircut
— Reference to Chad
— Reference to JoJo and Ben
— Camera zooms in on a pet
— Visible childhood awards
— “Are you ready to get married?”
— “There’s something you need to know…”
— “Are you in love with him?”
— “There are still four people left…”
— “This is my favorite place!”
And of course,
— “Right reasons”
Tell your friends, stock up on booze, and get ready for a great night. May the odds be ever in your favor. .